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Life is a scam

 

When you’re a kid you imagine how life would be as an adult.

As an adult you can start making money, you can vote, you can drink…

It seems that being an adult is awesome and it truly is but there’s load of stuff that no one prepared you for.

 

Authority

 

When you are young adults impose figures of authority.

On day, when you grow up, you find yourself eating healthy, controlling your emotions and being extremely nice to everyone for no reason.

You discover yourself being a good person just because you’re conditioned from childhood to be that way.

You respect people; you listen to others, and you help strangers in the street for no reason.

As adults we got stuck in patterns, patterns of Thank you, Please, I’m fine, You go first, As you prefer, If you like it that way is fine to me…

We constantly seek approval.

 

Time

 

When I was a kid the Beatles were always playing as background music in my house.

No matter what we were doing, there were the Beatles there also.

A fact of growing up is that you lose time.

 

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You work, you visit people, you exercise, you pay bills, you go shopping, you organize your clothes, and sometimes you forget to spend you precious seconds of life listening to cool music.

The music that makes you think of fun and awesome times, the music that you used to listen with your parents and friends when all the time was about being fun and awesome.

 

Food

 

As a kid you take food for granted without never imagine the horror of grocery shopping or if you forget it, the horror of calling the delivery every single night.

From the outside, having dinner could appear as incredibly easy but is not.

Every night you arrive home wishing not to be hungry simply to avoid dealing with the food dilemma.

You buy food and eat it, yes sounds easy but when you’re the one doing it, it’s so much worse.

Should I prepare something? Should I go to my neighbor place and eat their food? Should I call the delivery?

A meal is not worth so many questions.

And that’s one of the main reasons adults are fit.

We don’t like to think, we skip meals.

Life is all about increasingly skip meals until one day we are so weak that we end up dying.

 

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Top 2014 luxury cars

 

Mercedes-Benz C-Class

The C-Class has gone in for a thorough interior makeover in the past years, receiving a fresh dashboard look with up to date technology.

The old base V6 engine has been ditched in favor of a turbocharged 1.8 liter 4 cylinder that gets 31 miles per gallon on the highway.

Plus, the C-Class is offered as a sleek coupe as well as a sedan.

 

Cadillac ATS

The rear wheel drive ATS sport sedan is only entry level in its compact size.

 

2013 Cadillac ATS

 

 

ATS stands out for its impressive interior quality, exceptionally sharp styling and cutting edge CUE system, which turns the center stack into a touch based infotainment center.

Whether you choose the sensible 2.5-liter 4-cylinder, the strong and fuel-efficient turbo 4-cylinder or the burly 3.6-liter V6, the ATS will deliver a comprehensive luxury experience.

 

Lincoln MKZ

Lincoln has gone to great lengths to improve its products over the past few years and the Fusion-based MKZ is a case in point.

The MKZ starts with Ford’s EcoBoost turbocharged 2.0-liter 4-cylinder, a sprightly 240-hp motor that’s only offered on top-of-the-line Fusion models, while the exclusive 3.7-liter V6 option packs a healthy 300 hp.

The turbo returns 33 mpg on the highway, too.

If that’s not enough, the Hybrid model borrows the Fusion Hybrid’s fuel-sipping 4-cylinder powertrain for an incredible 45 mpg.

 

Lexus IS

All new for 2014, the nimble rear wheel drive based IS clearly isn’t a wallflower anymore.

Sleek and muscular, the IS was definitely designed to turn heads, particularly with the F Sport model’s unique wheels and grille.
Fortunately, those sporty looks are matched by the way the IS drives.
The sublime front bucket seats make you feel like you’re driving a sports car, and if you go for the IS 350 with its 306-hp V6, you’ll have the acceleration to match.

 

 BMW 3 Series

The 3 Series seems to have matured with its latest design.

Formerly focused on snug dimensions and taut performance, the 3 Series is larger and more accommodating now.

Like the IS, it can carry four adults in comfort, and the cabin is airier and more upscale but the 3 Series hasn’t lost the plot in the engine room, as even the mainstream 328i comes with an excellent turbocharged 4 cylinder rated at 240 hp and 33 mpg.

The 3 Series also offers a rare wagon variant, and keep an eye out for the even more affordable 2014 320i sedan with 180 hp, as well as the desirable 328d turbodiesel sedan and wagon.

 

 

 

 

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Tour de France is not a sport

 

Generally speaking I enjoy watching sports because I like to see my team winning.

The exception to this rule is the Tour de France.

I follow this event every single year to see people lose.

The victories in this long race are never as gratifying to witness as failures.

News recaps each night don’t concentrate on stage winners or team tactics, they stick to the crashes, the allegations of cheating and all the riders’ temper explosions.

Even if your interest in sports is very little, you will enjoy the Tour de France.

We watch it to see how it goes wrong, and Tour de France goes wrong all the time in every direction.

 

Drugs

 

Baseball and basketball can take a nap knowing that even with all the drugs allegations, they will never go as low as cycling.

Drug use is profuse in the Tour de France.

 

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Each year scandals overshadow the event as riders are kicked out for failing drug tests.

Then they accuse other riders and the controversy starts to get lot more coverage than the cycling itself.

And that is what we enjoy.

But drugs are not the only cheating method they use.

The racers do blood doping.

That involves a transfusion of blood rich in red blood cells either from a donor or from the racer himself, so that the blood oxygenates better while riding.

Lance Armstrong was accused by former teammates of blood doping.

 

Fights

 

Drug abuse is intrinsic to cycling and the constant accusations among rival riders and even teammates leads to a lot more fight that any other sport.

Professional cyclists hate each other and when they’re not busy hating each other, they hate microphones and cameras and race officials.

There is so much outspoken animosity among riders in the Tour de France that calling it a rivalry sounds too benevolent.

 

Crashes

 

Just like a game of Mario Kart, it doesn’t matter how phenomenal a racer is in the Tour de France, objects in the road are always the great equalizer.

Crashes on the Tour can be career-ending and the fault can lie with something as simple as a Coke bottle.

With consequences that high, accidents are the most memorable parts of every Tour de France.

The irony is that sometimes the media coverage is exactly what causes the accidents.

Biking is boring to watch unless there is a threat of mortal peril.

The Tour de France offers that perpetual threat around every turn.

 

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Real woman vs. Porn actress

 

Porn sex is one way that real sex can be done and for some couples, it is the same as their sex life.

But is not the usual.

Most people aren’t as flexible as they are in porn,

And is not that real woman don’t enjoy sex but they need a little more effort than porn actresses to succeed.

In porn women reach great orgasms by going from 0 to full penetration.

 

Young couple relaxing in bed

 

 

That is a little far from reality.

If you don’t turn on the lady, she won’t be able to have a great time at all.

You wouldn’t notice because, you know, they fake.

Real woman love to make out before sex, it’s almost a requirement for them to reach the sexual climax.

Another tiny difference is the way porn actresses shave their parts.

No real woman is as hairless as they are.

Even though is true that the size matter, the reaction is quite the opposite between a porn star and a regular woman.

The porn star go all like ‘Oh my Godd, I love it!’

While a real person facing that monster will only wonder how not to shed a tear.

Even blowjobs are different.

In porn the ladies prefer that part, they actually stay down there for hours.

Real woman usually go read Yahoo Answers before a bootie call.

Anal sex is the real thing.

For porn stars is what they seem to enjoy the most, is like the sex got really intense and the sense of satisfaction back there is colossal.

Real woman just agree to do anal because they like the other person, it is more like a concession not as personal enjoyment.

And last but not least, orgasms.

The volume of orgasms in porn movies would ban all kind of sexual activity in almost any neighborhood I’ve ever lived.

They immediately fake those unnaturally deep orgasms and shout loud enough that nobody will be able to tell if they are actually enjoying or being eaten by a hunger lion.

Real woman makes different faces, some eye contact and kiss you in the cheek.

 

 

 

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Cool people do Meth

Some of you read about how meth must be some bad habit but the results in users are pretty awesome.

I live in an environment where meth is the common hobby.

Most people around me do meth so I have a great insight about it wonderful side effects.

 

Personality

 

Let’s say that somebody is socially awkward, the kind of person who couldn’t bring to say ‘hello’ around a group of unknown people.

Meth changes all that, it eliminates shyness.

 

Soko_001

 

And people love being around a person who speak off and fills in every millisecond of silence with rapidly spoken words.

Today for example my friend Bill talked to me about the movie Frozen for three and a half hours.

The movie itself is 98 minutes so it would have actually been more efficient for him to perform the movie for me.

 

Knowledge

 

Doing meth turns you into almost a chemical engineer.

To do meth you don’t have to depend on Colombia or even try to find illegal plants to cultivate.

You can make it at home.

The line between user and producer doesn’t exist.

Another great result of meth use is the knowledge you gain in chemicals.

 

Body shape

 

Losing weight was never so easy.

Meth is a truly weight-loss substance.

The secret is that it gives you an unnatural amount of energy so on top of the metabolism being skyrocketed into deity level, everything you do is performed three times faster than normal.

Since it produces so much energy, the body thinks that it’s been fed, so it stops sending out those annoying signals telling you to eat.

Methamphetamines cause fat to rapidly eliminate from the body.

Yeah. If you want to be sexy and skinny, you know what to do.

 

 

 

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Vladimir Putin, a real life superhero

Vladimir Putin is what happens when James Bond gets one of his villains pregnant and the child grows up.

Putin is the good and bad guys combined so that the morality cancels out and you’re left with the best part of a Hollywood movie: a real life superhero.

ages, signed bills mandating increased wages for teachers and nurses, and his approval rating is so constantly, ridiculously high, he’s the only world leader reviewed by IGN. Either he is ruthlessly exploiting the media or he is a real-life action hero of such colossal scope that any movie starring him would seem absurd.

 

Fire Fighting

 

Last year when fire devastated a complete Russian region, Putin didn’t appear in front of a camera to talk like most Presidents do.

 

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He took the natural disaster as something personal and piloted a fire fighting plane himself to help beating the fire.

He acted as Captain Planet’s would do.

Flying a plane filled with water was just the natural thing to do for the super Putin.

 

Wild

 

Las year also, Putin visited a national park to see a trapped tiger.

After his visit the adjective trapped suddenly no longer applied to the tiger.

Putin scooped up a tranquilizer pistol, dropped the tiger and, as if just downing a man eating predator wasn’t enough, he helped measure its teeth.

More countries need to be in the capable hands of a man who defeats tigers.

 

Martial art

 

On a recent official visit to Japan Vladimir took time out from political meetings to show off his Judo skills.

Putin demonstrated his willingness to take on any nation at its own sport.

He suited up and showed everyone his version of various sweeps and throws on the center Kodokan instructor in a sparring match.

While Qaddafi and Obama has to pay foreigners to fight his own people, you get the impression that if the Russian public ever rebelled Putin would roll up his sleeves and give the army the day off.

Actually in Russia the word Putin also means Judo.

 

Internet

 

Putin also knows exactly what succeeds online.

Instead of posting deeply boring social debates on the web, Vladimir asked on his facebook how to name his puppy.

He personally read every single name suggestion and invited the five year old Moscow boy Dima Sokolov who suggested the name, to meet him and the Puppy.

To give you an idea of what that means for a Russian boy in occidental terms it would be like meeting Jesus and RoboCop at the same time.

 

 

 

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Will Batman always win?

 

Yes.

The question isn’t whether or not Batman will always win; the question is why he always does, why Batman never loses.

What we perceive as a defeat in his movies is just Batman facing a new form of victory.

In this article I will explain the attributes that make Batman undefeatable.

 

Insanity

 

Is Bruce Wayne Batman being silly or is Batman Bruce Wayne being crazy?

The answer is they are both crazier and dumber than you ever imagine.

It’s notorious that Bruce Wayne isn’t simply pretending to be disturbed.

And despite the debate whether Batman is the personality shelf where Bruce Wayne stores the crazy plates, one thing is certain: Batman has his own absolutely crazy persona.

 

the-dark-knight-rises-batman

 

 

Batman is full of bad trauma like dad not loving him or losing her supermodel girlfriend.

And this is why we all love you, Batman.

Craziness is the most significant Batman’s superpower because as in real life, crazy cannot be defeated, it can only be diverted.

It is lunacy, my friends, that settles the day in Gotham City.

Of course Bane is brilliant and powerful but he made one mistake, he brought logic into a crazy fight.

 

He is always ready

 

Gotham is where plans go to die.

That’s why Joker’s a perfect halt for Batman, because he’s the embodiment of chaos.

However we need to remember that Batman is, too.

Batman wears the night as a costume and makes himself the patron of unknown terrors.

He isn’t about order, he’s about control.

The Joker, like most great comedians, offers a perfect critique of how screwed we all are, but no solutions.

And Batman, like many offended audiences, keeps interrupting the act to tell him he sucks.

What Bane and The Joker fails to understand is that every moment Batman is beating criminals, he’s doing what he loves, and once there are no more criminals, he’s getting what he wants.

In any scenario, he’s at least breaking even.

 

Apathy

 

Batman doesn’t care about nature, ecology, global warming or any other trending issue.

Batman is a traumatized orphan and that’s why he doesn’t adapt well to society.

He surrounds with women he doesn’t like and he pretend to get drunk so other people will think he parties hard.

If Bruce Wayne were on Facebook he’d have 45 friends.

The only thing he cares about is people he can trust; everything else for him is peripheral.

And the result of this detachment is that he’s obligated to no one.

There’s a great advantage in disinterest.

 

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Top 10 richest NFL players of 2014

Based on 2014 contracts we’ve made the list of the top 10 highest earning NFL players.

 

 

10. Mario Williams – Salary $16,000,ooo

 

 

Mario Williams

 

 

9. Larry Fitzgerald – Salary $16,062,5oo

 

 

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8. Tony Romo – Salary $17,071,428

 

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7. Jay Cutler – Salary $18,100,ooo

 

 

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6. Aaron Rodgers – Salary $18,678,571

 

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5. Calvin Johnson – Salary $18,812,5oo

 

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4. Matt Ryan – Salary $18,958,333

 

 

MATT-RYAN

 

3. Peyton Manning – Salary $19,200,ooo

 

Eagles Broncos Football

 

2. Drew Brees – Salary $20,000,ooo

 

Drew Brees

 

 

1. Joe Flacco – Salary $20,100,ooo

 

joe-flacco

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Life has no meaning

 

You may listen some people tell that school is important or college is important or your job is important.

They lie.

Nothing that has you as a main character is important for the simple reason that you are not important at all.

And that’s perfectly fine, we are not here to be important.

Of course we are not here to be happy either.

The only skill you need to learn in school and college is how to socialize and be a functioning human in society.

 

meaning-of-life

And that’s exactly what being a human means.

Life is not about being beautiful, or happy, or rich, or famous, life is about being functional.

It is very important to learn how to be a human, how to meet the right people, and how to maintain your social network.

There is an enormous connection between how smart you are and how useful you are.

And despite your own perception is very likely that you are an idiot.

You probably know a lot about a lot of things and you have been gathering information for years but that is not even related to how stupid you are.

Stupid people also receive information, read books, watch movies and browse the internet.

Life is all about looking back on your past self and realizing how stupid you were.

‘Oh, I don’t understand why I was in love with that mean woman!’ or ‘How can I be working 5 years for this asshole manager!’

And you’ll keep convincing yourself that even though you were stupid in the past, now you’ve got it figured out.

Wrong,

You will be a little less retarded the day you reach the understanding that you were idiot in the past and you are an idiot today.

And then you’ll smartly say ‘Well I was an idiot two years ago and two years before that and I’m an idiot right now too’.

The infiniteness of your stupidity is the most valuable lesson you may ever learn in your entire life.

So many people will watch movies or read books and think ‘Yes, I understand the meaning of this movie’ or ‘I know what the writer was trying to say in the book’.

No, you don’t.

Those people took the time to actually create a movie and write a book while you are here reading this article and being an idiot.

I’m an idiot too, I have nothing about life figured out and I’m probably the dumbest person in the planet but I have an advantage against you.

I admit it.

 

 

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Benefits of being mean

 

We tend to think that relaxed and calm people are the healthiest and happiest in the world.

You wish.

There’s a reason humans still cling to the behaviors that get us tagged as assholes and that’s because they make us healthier.

 

Bad words

 

Most linguists agree that the reason we have such a thing as cursing in human language is because it’s help us release the pain.

 

Every time you smacking the closet door right in the middle of your face it seems to hurt a little less if you scream like a pig. 

That’s because cursing simply increase pain tolerance.

 

Gossip

 

We all know that being fat can take years off your life and that being ugly also because of the suffering it cause but did you know talking about how fat and ugly other people are can boost your health?

Yeah!

A study from the University of Michigan found that gossip has positive health benefits and is the main reason why women live longer than men.

Talking about other people lives help us bond with our friends and also reduce stress.

Gossip is like an RSS feed that keeps you constantly updated on the deviant your social circle is up to.

 

Anger

 

According to science, in the right situations, anger helps your blood pressure and general wellbeing.

Researchers at Carnegie Mellon found that anger, in stressful situations; it was a much better alternative than just keep calm.

Choosing anger provides more positive effects on both blood pressure and mental health than calmness.

 

Complain

 

We all hate people who complain.

But not all complaining causes bad reactions.

In the right context complaining can actually boost the complainer’s health and immunity as well as the health of those who share the same complaints.

It’s all about the power of complaining in groups.

We are social animals and even bitching about things we can’t control gives us a boost if we do it in group.

 

 

 

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