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Being young sucks

 

We tend to remember our teen years as wonderful but that’s because out memory fails.

Teen and young years are the ones you spend being suicidal and depressive.

Being adult means happiness and knowledge.

As you grow up you realize life is amazing and you are capable of attain any objective.

Mind and body of young people are not yet ready to enjoy life and that’s why their lives are hell.

 

Young people brains are not developed

 

If you are not yet an adult, your brain is undergoing horribly awkward changes.

During teenage years, every little calculation the brain makes is wrong.

All the stupid behavior you perform while you are young is not your fault.

Teenage brain is built in such a way that impressing other people is more or less the prime imperative.

 

Simple tasks are stressful for young people

 

There is a reason why young people are so whiny about little insignificant problems and is because for them it actually feels like gigantically stressful.

 

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This is another symptom of the not yet formed brain I mentioned above.

The part of the human brain that makes you stop and reconsider doing stupid things is the prefrontal cortex.

It regulates decision making and helps control impulses.

If you put a teenager under a brain scan, his prefrontal cortex activity is almost shut down and with it, his ability to calculate risk.

 

Young people can’t process multi step instructions

 

Have you ever bought a cup of coffee and the boy serving you seems like suffering and ACV trying to remember both the size and the flavor you ordered?

A recent study from the Department of Psychology at the University of Michigan shows that teenagers’ brains don’t yet have the part that handles multi-tasking.

The part of the brain that figures out what to do when you get a variety of information at once and how to sort through it all it doesn’t develop until after you’re adult.

 

Young people are stupid

 

When we were young technology’s limitations required us to fill in the blanks thus strengthen our imagination.

Today with video games so ridiculously realistic kids sit drooling in front of the screen and their minds get numbed from lack of use.

Technology makes kids dumber.

Text and instant messaging are making kids write ‘ur’ instead of ‘your’ and lot of other retarded truncations that every time you received an email you wonder if you’re looking at the successor to Esperanto.

 

 

 

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Advices are always wrong

 

When someone is sad we have some repetitive advices we give to them that are absolutely useless.

We just say them because sound smart and somebody said them to us before where we were in that situation.

Deep inside we know they do no better but we just can’t help but repeat them.

I’m giving you some examples in this article so please, next time you feel the urge to say something stupid, think for a minute.

 

Speak your feelings

 

Since we are little kids, people continuously teach us to speak our feelings as if it was something good.

Now think, who is the most annoying contact you have on Facebook? Who is the most hated person at work?

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You got it right. The one who speak out his feelings.

Trust me; nobody is ever going to know that you have a problem if you don’t let them know.

So what you really need is just to toughen up, look to other people with superiority right in their eyes and let her know that you are fine.

Not also is annoying to be the one who speak feelings out but is also worthless.

Nobody is ever going to care about your feelings, people may pretend they do but because of an ulterior objective.

Growing up means finding out people doesn’t care about each other.

 

The past is not important

 

‘What happened happened and you can’t change any of that so forget about the past and move forward with your life’

Just partially.

Life basics is to learn how to avoid what you don’t like and do more of what you do like.

It’s not a good idea to forget what made you feel happy and what made you feel bad.

Enjoyment, pleasure, great experiences are what make you a better person.

Most of the time, when someone tells you to ‘put all that behind’ is because they are about to manipulate you.

 

Live every day as the last

 

Flowery.

What we should do is living today being productive so tomorrow we can look back and be proud.

Then the day after tomorrow we should be even better and the next one better, and keep growing.

It’s completely right to enjoy the moment you are living, but people who spend all of their time living in the present they have a name… they’re children.

And that’s exactly why they have other people to take care of them.

 

Fight for what you believe

 

Do you understand how dangerous this advice is?

The Ku Klux Klan fight for what they believe in.

Please, we need to understand that not fighting for what we believe is sometimes a great idea.

Most of the things we believe are wrong anyway.

 

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Top 10 richest basketball players of 2014

 

Based on this season’s salaries this list looks at the top 10 highest earning players in this year’s NBA.

Though young players have begun to emerge, this list will show that old faces are still dominating the league, and commanding the highest salaries.

 

10. Blake Griffin – Salary $16,441,500

10

 

 

9. Kevin Durant – Salary $17,832,627

 

9

 

8. Chris Paul – Salary $18,668,431

 

8

7. Dwyane Wade – Salary $18,673,000

 

7

 

6. Lebron James – Salary $19,067,500

 

6

 

5. Chris Bosh – Salary $19,067,500

 

Miami Heat Media Day

 

 

4. Dwight Howard – Salary $20,513,178

 

4

 

3. Carmelo Anthony – Salary $21,388,953

 

3

 

2. Joe Johnson – Salary $21,466,718

 

2

 

1. Dirk Nowitzki – Salary $22,721,381

 

Dallas Mavericks v Portland Trail Blazers

 

 

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GameInformer Magazine

 

Resident Evil movies are better than the games

 

In my humble opinion the Resident Evil movies are the most successful video game movie series ever made.

Some gamers complain about the movies but I love the movies and have powerful reasons.

 

Gamers are not allowed to criticize movies

 

In 1996 Resident Evil games and their fans surrendered any right to criticize any moving image with the worst intro movie ever made.

Back then people were still excited about full motion videos and you’d swear that Resident Evil was trying to warn them that it would never get better.

If you didn’t watch that clip I’m not going to ruin the blissful ignorance you’ve wisely earned.

But let’s just say that people have looked tougher than this grizzled action hero while losing on Cake Wars.

 

The movies have a better plot

 

The first complaint gamers have about the movies is that they don’t follow the plot of the games.

Of course they don’t, the movies aren’t nine hours long and even if they were, eight hours of watching people slowly fetch pointless objects while avoiding shambling bodies isn’t cinema.

The plot of Resident Evil games is dumb.

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In fact the plot of the original games got so stupid that even the games dumped most of it, restarting in Resident Evil 4.

 

Sequel strategy

 

The games had nine different kinds of virus and parasite.

It’s like they got confused about whether people were playing because they liked to shoot zombies or because they were interested in virologist fan fiction.

Since any one of the viruses in the game can apparently do anything, it’s more pointless replication of terrible things than the Kardashian family.

Bizarrely, the movies are better at rebooting between levels than the computer games.

The movies approach sequels like tank combat.

The old one blows up, so you make the new one bigger and even more awesome.

Anything that could have complicated the story is blown up at the start of the next movie.

The movies are incredibly and stupid but they work.

Each Resident Evil movie makes more money than the one before, which is exactly the kind of exponential profit from disasters the Umbrella Corporation would have been going for all this time.

The movies get terrible reviews but are a huge amount of fun.

And I think that we should admit that the games were the exact opposite.

 

Movies don’t waste as much time as games

 

Fans of the game have complained that the movies are lowbrow, and yes, they are clinically incapable of going five minutes without doing something awesomely stupid.

At least they’re doing something.

Games use more padding to keep people stuck than Arkham Asylum, and the contents make less sense.

Most of the games are one part zombies to 20 parts fetch quest.

Resident Evil 2 has you placing a unicorn medal in the police station foyer fountain statue so it can pour you a key.

The quests have less than no explanation and the result is trawling endless narrow corridors full of undead and picking up anything you find because those are the only paths you can follow.

Just like a Pac Man.

 

 

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The Los Angeles Times

 

What’s wrong with DiCaprio?

It took me almost two days recovering from Leonardo DiCaprio not winning the Oscar.

I’ve seen the ceremony three times already and I can’t believe he didn’t.

And the worse thing is that he’s probably not going to win it any time soon unless he becomes a different kind of actor, a much less cool one.

I don’t understand why cool actors usually don’t win the Oscars.

Movies are made for us to go and stare at cool people for hours, movies have been good to cool, and cool has been good to the movies.

So why is it that so few of the cool actors have ever won the Academy Award for best actor?

Let me exemplify: Johnny Depp, Robert Downey Jr, Harrison Ford, Steve McQueen, Samuel L. Jackson, Gary Oldman, Tom Cruise, Cary Grant, Richard Burton and James Dean.

I don’t understand why being cool mean that an actor will struggle to win the Academy Award for best actor.

Maybe the reason is that cool people doesn’t invite you to share his position.

Cool people invite admiration, envy, desire, much more than empathy.

For an actor being cool means that they leave you wondering what it would be like to be them, without ever imagining that you could.

 

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On the other end we have the clear model of a not cool actor: Tom Hanks.

Tom Hanks almost invites you to share his position.

He communicate exactly what it would be like to the character he is playing, which is why he has succeeded so much at the Oscars.

He has been nominated five times for best actor and won it twice.

The more cool an actor’s style and roles are, the less likely he is to win.

DiCaprio certainly has plenty to say in The Wolf of Wall Street.

We find out everything we need to know about DiCaprio’s performance early in the movie when Belfort takes a job selling penny stocks.

He did great but still creates an audience to this performance not an audience to share Belfort.

That’s the point, Ejiofor’s and McConaughey’s performances invite the audience to share the positions of characters that have almost never been seen on screen.

Ejiofor performance demands we see the world of slavery through the character’s eyes.

McConaughey puts more of his emotions on the screen even than Ejiofor, he lets the audience share all his rage, grief, and fear.

Today McConaughey is no longer a cool guy and that’s why he won the Oscar for best actor.

 

 

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The Miami Herald

 

Of course Batman is better than Superman

I can’t believe there are people still arguing about Batman versus Superman.

The debate always devolves to the playground level of who would win in a fight and this ultimate showdown proves that Batman is the better character.

Because he would lose.

Supporting Superman because he’d win is like supporting a nuclear missile against your cell phone because it would beat your phone.

Yes, of course it would, but which one is more interesting?

Which one would you rather spend time with?

 

Batman stories are way interesting

 

Superman is the original comic book superhero as we now understand the term and like many 80 year old men, he repeats his stories too often.

Not killing people is an important part of Superman’s character, but there’s a huge gap between a moral code against murder and letting idiots who can afford fancy dress waste four months of everyone’s lives.

Batman’s insistence on the same code is much impressive because he’s actually risking himself for it.

 

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Batman’s everyday confrontations are still interesting.

You know he’s going to win, but he always has multiple methods, none of which are just be immune at them until they die of old age.

He can turn one criminal with a gun into one of the coolest takedowns of all time.

This is why Batman has brilliant video games and Superman doesn’t.

Batman is far superior to his enemies, but will still be shot to death the second he screws up and that’s what makes victory fun.

Superman games are all annoying because he has to be ridiculously weakened, because challenge is impossible when you’re a walking God Mode.

 

Batman is himself

 

That title might sound odd when you’re talking about a man with a secret identity dressed up as a giant latex rodent but Batman has never been exposed to anti vengeance.

Batman writers don’t have to fight their own main character to write a story.

Superman has been affected by more chemicals and forces than hydrogen.

Magic, hypnosis, an entire anti rainbow of Kryptonite that made him suck and whenever things get too troublesome they just block out the sun.

One of the worst examples was Aliens vs. Superman.

 

Batman is smarter

 

Superman is meant to be super intelligent but his solution to every problem is either charging straight at it with his fists up or throwing things.

That’s why his most famous villain is mastermind Lex Luthor: Someone has to do interesting things to keep the story moving.

Batman is the master detective; with him we’re actually following the trail instead of playing Kryptonian hide and seek.

You know they’re both going to save the day, but with Batman, you still get to wonder how.

With Superman, you just flip a coin as to whether he’ll end the movie by punching or lifting.

 

 

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 The Economist 

 

Jobs nobody wants to do

Not everyone is gifted enough to work writing funny articles on the internet.

Most of you have to do real jobs to pay bills and buy stuff.

And that’s fine because that’s how economy works but there are some jobs that are so awful that nobody tolerates.

 

Stacking shelves

 

If you ever get up before noon and have some time to spend, go to a grocery store and you will be very surprised.

When you go to a store after it’s just opened you discover how everything is supposed to be.

That’s because stores have stock clerks working all night to make it look like it’s a brand new store every morning.

For a solid eight hours at night, a team of unfortunate beings are putting new stock on shelves and turning all the old stock around and lining it up so everything looks brand new the next day.

Every day.

Every night.

By the time normal people go shopping, the store looks like hell again anyway, so it’s absolutely irrelevant that someone spent all night arranging the shelves.

 

Technical support

 

I’ve work very close to technical support for a couple of years and realized their job is horrible.

Judging from the last times I have to call tech support I’m guessing is not getting any better.

I had to call my cellphone company from two different countries during the last year and the tech support available in one entire country was not able to assist me because my phone was purchased in another one.

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From my perspective the main problem with this job is that is more necessary that it should.

I mean, your stuff should work.

Everything breaks down eventually and there are glitches here and there, but don’t tell me stuff isn’t just made in a much more lazy fashion with cheaper parts these days so there is no way for you not to end up calling support.

 

Dishwasher

 

Dish washing is like the employment equalizer.

I’ve been in the kitchen of many restaurants and noticed that all dishwashers were always sad people.

Why is washing dishes so terrible?

To start, it’s a job you do at home and job you also do at home is going to breed a tiny bit of resentment.

It’s like you can’t get away from it, you wash dishes for six hours, then come home and keep washing your own plates.

The big deal with washing dishes is that on the employment totem pole, it’s as respected as janitor and garbage man.

No one really ever cares about a dishwasher.

It’s a job your employer expects even a chimp could do.

Dishwasher is one of the most humiliating tasks we have for a human being.

When you wash someone’s dirty plate it’s all the bits of food and sauce and sludge this person wasted, it’s like the universe feces you are cleaning out.

 

 

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 Detroit News  

 

Sports we want to add to the Olympics

Most of us just watch the Olympics to root for our country not because we enjoy it.

There are plenty of sports that could be added to the games to spice them up.

 

Canal jumping

 

Even against my personal interest, I have to admit that watching pole vault is not exiting.

Of course you have to be an amazing athlete like me to do it, but is not entertaining.

What it is really enjoyable is canal jumping.

They have a pole planted in a canal and the contestants run up to the pole and climb up it as fast as they can while it tips to the other side.

 

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Competitors has to jump off the pole at the last second and try to get as far as he can and whoever gets the farthest is the winner.

 

Horse vaulting

 

Gymnastics is fine but the sport that would really make us watch the Olympics is equestrian vaulting.

The only way to make gymnastics amazing is to put the athletes on speeding horses and have them do their routine on top of it.

And yes, this is already a sport.

 

Sepak takraw

 

We can take one of the boring sports like volleyball out, and add Sepak takraw to the Olympics.

Sepak takraw has the same rules as volleyball but is a flying spin version.

There is nothing funnier than spinning in the air to kick a tiny ball no bigger than a hacky sack into the opposing team’s court.

There are three people on each team because you need extra room to go flying across the court to dropkick the ball without accidentally kicking a teammate’s head off his shoulders.

It’s like break dancing in the air.

It’s the kind of sport they would play in the Matrix.

 

 

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 San Francisco Daily

 

Iron Man is greater than Batman

 

I’ve used to like Batman more than Iron Man, then I studied them a little deeper and understood about my misconception.

Of course they are the best superheroes in their leagues, Batman beats Superman and Iron Man beats Captain America but when it comes to compare them to each other we have to think a little beyond the simplicity of physical strength.

 

Iron Man did more good

 

Maybe arms dealer is a challenging origin for a good guy but his father built the company when weapons merchants were heroes because of Hitler.

Howard Stark reversed the polarity of Godwin’s law.

His entire legacy was ‘No more Nazis’ and ‘Yes more Captain America’ which means he couldn’t have been a better advertisement for weapons technology.

Tony genuinely believed that giving the good guys guns was how you fixed things and sacrificed billions to stop the very second he found out he was wrong.

On the other side, the very instant Bruce Wayne didn’t get what he wanted; he stormed off to a remote prison hellhole.

Wayne Industries must have had more military projects on the go than the actual U.S. Army, they spent years and millions of dollars as the sort of company where forcing people to die of thirst was a possible revenue stream.

 

Tactics

 

Both superheroes are ridiculously selfish billionaires abusing privilege like they hired it to wear a gimp mask in their basement.

 

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Both hoard technology that could revolutionize society just to their own benefit but Tony Stark uses functional AI and a free power source to drunken drive in a way there aren’t laws against yet so at least he enjoys it.

He’s also working on infinite free energy for the world.

Bruce Wayne misuses more funds than Enron and uses it to hunt poor people for sport.

Watching Bruce Wayne worrying over his inability to stop crime while he could buy the entire GCPD, it’s annoying.

 

The actors

 

Both movies had the most perfect players possible without involving genetic engineering.

This could be a shot of the actor or the character.

Robert Downey Jr. was stuck being a boyfriend on the wimpy romantic legal comedy Ally McBeal, the exact opposite role to Iron Man, until he got fired for drug offenses and became the ultimate Method actor.

Since then, he’s become Tony Stark and Sherlock Holmes, the two best drug abusers in fictional history.

Christian Bale is also the perfect Batman.

He’s clearly a wealthy lunatic and emotionally deficient as Bruce.

 

Moral posture

 

Tony Stark realizes that people have been misusing his inventions to kill people.

Although when you invent missiles, there’s little room to misuse.

The profiteering war merchant then blew things up for two straight movies and the only things he killed were robots or actually pointing guns at screaming women and children at that exact moment.

On the other end is Batman whose ‘don’t kill them immediately’ attitude is about as moral as the guy from Saw.

He’s cruel and unusual punishment personified.

Gotham criminals don’t have employee insurance so every time he cripples one; he is at best dooming them to stay home for the rest of the days.

Gotham criminal’s families are now stuck with a bitter psychopath who cannot even leave the house.

Batman has caused more domestic violence than drugs and alcohol combined.

 

 

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 The Economist 

 

Remaining as a low class employee may be the best option

 

So did you find a great job and you have the best metrics?

Slow down.

The difference between staying at the same job and making a career is huge.

You would instinctively think the second option is much better but is not.

There are things nobody tells you about growing at your job.

 

Time

 

I have friends that only work for 8 hours and then they completely unplug.

They stay the required hours at the office and then enjoy doing other activities not caring about work.

When they are off, work stays at work and that little idea is the difference between having a career versus just working a job.

If something difficult happen being you just an employee and you are on a day off you will learn about that when you got back next Monday.

Once you reach a certain rung on the work, you will be aware of everything that happens at the office, even if is your day off because they will call you home and make you go there to solve it.

At this point there is no longer ‘work stays at work’ thing, for better or worse, your work is part of your life.

The higher you climb, the more people ask you opinion before taking a decision.

Every person that adds you to the list of people they ask, represent less time you have to perform your own duties.

People with just a plain 9 to 5 job would never understand this until they live it.

When you commit to a company everything in your life becomes a delicate and precise balancing time act: eating, visiting friends, even sleeping.

That ability to manage that time is what sets you apart from everyone else but also makes you lose the real life.

We are not here on this life for very long and the more you get done at work, the less you do with your personal life.

 

Hobbies

 

I used to gardening before being hired by the multinational I work for.

If you visit my garden today you will notice that has changed.

 

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I was able to take care of my flowers a lot because I worked eight hours and had plenty of time to kill when I clocked out.

That’s the upside to being just another face performing basic functions.

The more responsibility I took on, the more of my life that job took up and there’s no such thing as a day off.

A job is something you tolerate; a career is something you live.

Now my hobby is my job and about flowers all I do is taking some random pictures of my garden.

 

You cannot be absent

 

If you work at a fast food restaurant and you get sick someone else can do your part, even the manager can jump into your spot.

The higher you climb on the corporate chain; the results get progressively worse for being absent.

If you go on vacation for example, when you are back almost everything went upside down.

Tons of work was piled up for you because nobody else has the skills or training to do it.

When you are not at the office there is an enormous hole that isn’t getting filled and all that work is waiting for you when you come back.

You have a very specific skill set that cannot be replaced and that’s why yours is called a career, while others are working a job.

 

Learn to enjoy

 

You have two options, keep working a job 9 to 5 or learn how to enjoy working a 16 hour day.

If you select the second option most of your friends and family won’t understand you.

With their framed minded idea of a crappy job they will tell you things like ‘You have to relax’ or ‘You need to enjoy life’.

Well I enjoy working now, you losers.

 

 

 

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