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How to be polite to annoying people

 

Even though we chose the people we hang up with, sometimes we have to share some moments with annoying people.

Being in contact with this kind of people help us develop our internal virtues like strength, patience and serenity.

Even when they are clearly stupid we should always act classy.

It’s just a matter of practice and you will never fail into deliver perfection even when you are in front of a dull.

The very best thing you can choose to do is to not acknowledge them at all.

At the beginning it can be difficult but you just need to play some music in your head or think about something completely different than what they are talking.

If you listen to what they are saying to you they win.

 

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After we master the art of faking we are ready to the next step.

Going a step further is even better.

When someone annoys us choose to be kind to them, of course you should not be their friend because it is necessary to keep distance from such individuals but you should do it with kindness and smiling.

If someone does something in front of you that shows their lack of humor, smile at them, not with a true smile of course but try your best to convince them they are funny.

Give them all the smiling you are able to so they will never find out they are stupid.

That would not stop them from behave ridiculous but would help you to improve your kindness and social skills.

After smiling you will like to add something to the conversation. A little comment that trigger more stupidity.

You don’t have to panic or try to make them shut, just relax and say something very vague.

This will get to them to reload the arguments and start all over again with the nonsense conversation.

After you master doing this, it is actually quite enjoyable to know that the best way to get under some people’s skin is to refuse to let them get under yours.

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Always be cool.

You must keep your amazing attitude whoever you are with, do not allow the person behaving poorly to change that.

Your charming temperament will show your class and their lack thereof.

Let your actions speak for you, they speak louder than words anyway.

Most people will hang themselves if you give them enough rope.

Confidence can absolutely put out someone’s fire toward you, if they know they can’t get to you, what is the point of continuing to try; they may still dislike you from afar but you don’t care because you are superior.

Do not show that what they do bothers you, hang in there.

The best way to succeed in dealing with boring people is to be able to enjoy being sarcastic with them.

That is the opposite of what they expect from you so it’s worth doing it.

By watching you happily facing annoying people noisy comments and dully jokes, everyone will know that you are a winner.

 

 

 

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You are not trendy, you are sick

 

There was a time in history where people didn’t want to have diseases.

In the past it was considered cool to be healthy.

Now time has changed and being normal is a label for people to make fun of.

 

Asperger

 

Asperger’s is a type of autism.

It’s a lifelong challenge for people who have it and also a great opportunity for lazy people with bad social skills to excuse themselves.

 

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Asperger’s needs to be diagnosed by a doctor but today there are lots of people that just Google

their awkward manners and auto diagnose with it.

They self-indulge that way.

Being unsocial is not their fault anymore, they are sick now.

No one can blame you and tell you how rude you are because poor thing, you have a condition.

Also, since there is no cure for Asperger’s people can’t make you do anything about it.

 

Bipolar

 

Bipolar disorder is a serial mental illness but for some reason today anyone with mood swings self-diagnose with it.

Sometimes I’m happy and sometimes I’m sad, I’m bipolar.

Dude, you are not bipolar, you just need to exercise some self-control like we all do.

Of course it is easier to say you’re bipolar so people will give you sympathy and pity because your struggles are way beyond what normal people have to go through.

They’ll also encourage you to seek professional help, but you won’t go because if you go to see a therapist he will tell you that you are not bipolar and as the rest of humanity you just need to manage your emotions.

Yes, every single person sometimes is happy and sometimes is sad.

 

Gluten Intolerance

 

All of the sudden, it seems like nobody can tolerate gluten anymore.

Apparently since a couple of years, gluten becomes some kind of horrible poison.

Every single food is now being served in a gluten-free version.

The real fact is that gluten can give diarrhea to less than one percent of the population who have celiac disease.

Beyond people with celiac disease, gluten won’t give you anything.

But it seems to be so trendy say ‘I can’t eat gluten’ that suddenly millions of people discover they are intolerant to it.

Maybe you can try removing gluten from your diets to prevent symptoms of other diseases, like Asperger’s.

 

 

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Don’t let internet reunite what life separated

 

The other day I received an email inviting me to my high school class reunion party.

Dear Lord.

Let me tell you something, if I want you in my life, you are already there.

I remember my high school as great years.

Years filled with friends and joy.

 

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After graduation I decided to keep in touch with 5% of them and the rest to never speak ever again.

For me is the same if they moved to an Amish community or if they are running for President.

I decided them to be in my past.

So why would I go to a party with people I enjoyed during years and then deliberately removed from your life?

Trust me I’m smart enough to assure you that if I wanted to, I could find you.

There’s only one thing that could get me to go to my high school reunion party and it’s an ideal that can never be achieved.

My initial thoughts were that before I could go, I would need to reach a level of success that would be absolutely devastating to everyone there I hated.

And the more I thought about it I realized that there was no level of accomplishment that would be enough because the measure of success is a personal one.

Life for me has been a journey to a place where the people get my jokes and make me laugh.

Each year I keep getting closer.

Going to a reunion wouldn’t necessarily take me in the opposite direction but it’s a detour I don’t need.

 

 

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Happy couples

All the cheap talk about relationships intellectuals give on TV or the internet is pure ornamental.

Saving or maintaining a relationship is all about recognizing the most romantic solution possible and do exactly the opposite.

 

Don’t spend time together

 

It may sound very obvious but there are lots of couples that make this mistake.

It is pretty clear that to keep a couple alive in the long term you need to enjoy the fun time separate.

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Especially when it involves a hobby that one partner really likes.

The absolute worst thing you can do to another human being is to force him to engage in an activity he doesn’t enjoy.

 

Sleep apart

 

In some small minds, sleeping apart means unhappy relationship.

In real life, sleeping apart from your significant other every night on purpose is the best you can do for the relationship.

A huge part of your success in life depends on how much and how well you sleep.

Well, there is almost no way those slumber hours are going to be improved on by adding another person into the mix.

On average, people are woken up six times a night by their partner.

Hogging the sheets, rolling over, legs movements, sweats and night terrors are just a few examples of things that ruin the quality of our rest night after night.

 

Marry someone ugly or stupid

 

The happiest and most successful relationships are between people with a huge number of similarities.

However, there seems to be two very big exceptions.

People want to hook up with someone who is both less smart and uglier than you.

Lowering your standards will make you much happier in the long run.

In other words, uglier lovers last longer.

Researchers also found that to fit the ideal marriage formula, the wife should be smarter than her husband.

 

Lie

 

Having an altered vision about your significant other is the most important ingredient in a couple.

You need to be able to delude yourself.

Make all necessary efforts to end up seeing your couple as perfect, even when deeply inside you may know is ugly and stupid.

That my friends, is the secret to lifelong happiness.

 

 

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I rather die

 

Doctors and commercials don’t tell you about the side effects of the prescription.

Have you ever read the side effects of any medicine before taking it?

Last night I read the side effect of my anti-allergy pill and I’m convinced that it cause me more sickness than what it actually cure.

The leaflet says ‘This medicine may cause nausea, dry mouth, headache, dizziness, drowsiness, excitability, loss of motor function, irregular heartbeat, tingling sensations in the chest and sinuses’.

Instead of spend lots of money on drugs and alcohol you may take advantage of common medicines side effects.

 

Ambien

Though doctors classify Ambien as a sedative many people claim that it has led them to some of the most amazingly zombie experiences of their lives.

Entire message boards are dedicated to telling stories about the wild night’s people have while taking Ambien.

 

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A study proves that Ambien makes people do a variety of things in their sleep.

People dance, sing, play games and even have sex under the sedative effect and then, they don’t remember anything afterward.

What this medication basically does is stimulate the side of your brain that makes you awesome.

 

Antibiotics

 

If you’ve never had an infection, consider yourself lucky.

The main symptom of an infection are smelling urine, the urge to constantly pee and a burning pain in your wee wee while doing it.

Taking antibiotics is like having the alien instead of genitals.

Doctors prescribe antibiotics to clear up the infection but they forget about the pain while the antibiotics do their work.

While taking antibiotics I strongly recommend not to eat something acid or spicy.

You can imagine why.

 

Viagra

 

Everybody jokes about side effect of Viagra as it was a five hour boner or something similar.

The side effect of taking the blue pill is actually becomes a blue creature.

If you sexual fantasy is about bang Smurfette then probably Viagra will work for you.

A study held with 69 patients who take Viagra, shows that their skin start turning into light blue.

One of the patients even claimed that he would give up all the sex in the world to be able to be white again.

Maybe that was indicative of a second Viagra side effect: not being able to set up priorities.

 

 

 

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You have no idea who you are

Have you ever wonder why nobody tells the smelly guy that he smells?

Or why he can’t smell himself or notice that we move away every time he shows up?

The reason is because we all are the smelly guy in some way.

As smart as you are, when it comes to judge yourself, you are always wrong.

 

You are not nice

 

Even if you try hard and you think you are nice, you are not.

No matter how many self-deprecating jokes you make or how much you talk about how you suck and play the role of the lovable loser, deeply inside you think you are nicer than you actually are.

 

 

perception

 

 

Every single human being overestimates how generous he is.

A study from the Department of Psychology at the University of Arizona reveals that we have an accurate idea of how selfish the rest of the world is but we don’t perceive ourselves as selfish.

We all picture ourselves as an elite moral minority.

 

You are not free

 

Remember that interview where Charlie Sheen was giving advices to Lindsay about drugs?

That’s the perfect example.

That man was convinced he was not in the same situation than Lindsay and he pictured himself as authorized to give her advices about drugs and self-control.

Given the fact he is a public figure we just laugh about him and make fun of the situation.

You should stop laughing because science says that bizarre double standard like this apply to all of us.

While we are away from drugs, alcohol and promiscuous sex, we are not able to calculate how much of temptation we can handle.

You think you can handle a lot more temptation than you truly can.

The surer you are about your self-control, the more likely you will end up screwed at the first opportunity.

Without consciously thinking it, you assume that our own future is an open horizon of possibilities.

You think that your future depends on your actions and that your day to day choices really matter.

And you think that any day, you’ll break free of the matrix and just fly away.

 

You are racist

 

Think about the following.

Racism is a huge problem and it influences jury decisions, hiring practices and every kind of organizational decision.

So it is huge.

Now tell me, how many racists do you know?

So? How can racism be such a gigantic social issue if we don’t even have racists?

It’s simple, we are all racists and we lie about it.

Especially you.

 

 

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Social networking tips

According to a worldwide study 3 out of 4 couples married in the last decade met on the internet.

If you also want to find interesting people please read carefully this tips.

 

–          Please choose an interesting and realistic profile picture.

 

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The picture reflects the features you want to be shown about your personality, so be very mindful in the selection.

Avoid glasses, boobs and make up.

Of course do not add another person. Remember, is a profile picture of you, not a soccer team poster.

If the picture portrait you doing something or in a specific place, make sure that is something usual.

For you to show how great the Everest climb was you will want to create an album, not a profile picture.

 

–          Do not include all your personal information in your profile and make it visible to only your friends, never public.

Even to your friends, hide information, hide as much information as you can without appearing arrogant.

 

–          Stay away of any statement.

Avoid religious, sportive or political references as much as possible.

If other people post in your wall do not like the post or comment, leave it to the public.

 

–          Think ten times before posting something and a thousand before commenting.

You will not have a second chance to re post that so count until ten and when in doubt, throw it out.

Also pictures.

Pictures are the image you project to the world about you.

Most people don’t read so they only take information from your pictures.

 

–          Be responsive, educated and quiet.

Reply to every single message and invitation you receive, even if you don’t know who the person is.

 

–          Ask for advice about your profile.

Most of the time your friends and family are the best on correcting you from what is wrong.

Use that objectivity power they have and ask them what they think you should modify in your profile.

And obey.

Also look yourself at your profile from another person device so you can see how it looks to other people or use the ‘View as’ feature.

 

–          Be specific in the information.

You should not include too much personal information but if you decide to add some do not overpopulate that area.

Let’s say you want to add some music you like, ok but just a few.

Trust me, by telling the world that you like music you are not doing any favor to yourself, pretty much the contrary.

–          If there is something you really can’t stand it is better to subtle let that know to viewers.

It can be anything, maybe you don’t tolerate blond people or black people ok, with just one little sarcastic comment is more than enough to maintain blondes and darkies away from you.

 

–          Show humor in your profile.

Without being goofy you need to make sure everyone understand you don’t take yourself or your internet profile seriously.

 

–          Allow yourself to make mistakes.

There need to be something in your profile that shows uncaring.

Even if you’ve been thinking during a month about it, it needs to reflect careless.

If you are perfect like me you probably wouldn’t find any mistakes so take advantage of the social network itself to do that for you.

Just by not posting a background picture or by not selecting the correct city you live in, people will think you don’t know how to do it or you don’t care about it.

 

 

 

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Top 10 richest NFL players of 2014

Based on 2014 contracts we’ve made the list of the top 10 highest earning NFL players.

 

 

10. Mario Williams – Salary $16,000,ooo

 

 

Mario Williams

 

 

9. Larry Fitzgerald – Salary $16,062,5oo

 

 

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8. Tony Romo – Salary $17,071,428

 

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7. Jay Cutler – Salary $18,100,ooo

 

 

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6. Aaron Rodgers – Salary $18,678,571

 

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5. Calvin Johnson – Salary $18,812,5oo

 

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4. Matt Ryan – Salary $18,958,333

 

 

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3. Peyton Manning – Salary $19,200,ooo

 

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2. Drew Brees – Salary $20,000,ooo

 

Drew Brees

 

 

1. Joe Flacco – Salary $20,100,ooo

 

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