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Life has no meaning

 

You may listen some people tell that school is important or college is important or your job is important.

They lie.

Nothing that has you as a main character is important for the simple reason that you are not important at all.

And that’s perfectly fine, we are not here to be important.

Of course we are not here to be happy either.

The only skill you need to learn in school and college is how to socialize and be a functioning human in society.

 

meaning-of-life

And that’s exactly what being a human means.

Life is not about being beautiful, or happy, or rich, or famous, life is about being functional.

It is very important to learn how to be a human, how to meet the right people, and how to maintain your social network.

There is an enormous connection between how smart you are and how useful you are.

And despite your own perception is very likely that you are an idiot.

You probably know a lot about a lot of things and you have been gathering information for years but that is not even related to how stupid you are.

Stupid people also receive information, read books, watch movies and browse the internet.

Life is all about looking back on your past self and realizing how stupid you were.

‘Oh, I don’t understand why I was in love with that mean woman!’ or ‘How can I be working 5 years for this asshole manager!’

And you’ll keep convincing yourself that even though you were stupid in the past, now you’ve got it figured out.

Wrong,

You will be a little less retarded the day you reach the understanding that you were idiot in the past and you are an idiot today.

And then you’ll smartly say ‘Well I was an idiot two years ago and two years before that and I’m an idiot right now too’.

The infiniteness of your stupidity is the most valuable lesson you may ever learn in your entire life.

So many people will watch movies or read books and think ‘Yes, I understand the meaning of this movie’ or ‘I know what the writer was trying to say in the book’.

No, you don’t.

Those people took the time to actually create a movie and write a book while you are here reading this article and being an idiot.

I’m an idiot too, I have nothing about life figured out and I’m probably the dumbest person in the planet but I have an advantage against you.

I admit it.

 

 

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Happiest place on earth my snow white ass

 

According to his slogan Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth.

That description may fit for some specific kids and a few teenagers that go there completely boozed but for the rest of us, everything about Disneyland is a pain.

 

Epcot

 

Epcot is like experiencing the different cultures of the world but without the culture part.

If you visited Magic Kingdom you probably remember Epcot as the one with all the weird educational rides that teach you nothing.

Epcot is also the only theme park with alcohol so I recommend you to leave it for the last day of vacations.

 

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Every bathroom you enter at Epcot is packed of passed out people so they start littering the bushes and trees and dropping in the street.

At Epcot there is also the Mission Space, a highest speed attraction.

Mission Space is like a big centrifuge ride so given the alcohol element already described, it is very likely that you will end up wearing some dude’s lunch for the rest of the day.

 

Costumes

 

The regular Disney costume is made of wool and polyester.

Given that the average temperature in Florida is 95°F (35°C) being all day long hugging those huge stuffed animals is something any kid would like to avoid.

Not even to mention being the guy wearing them.

All those sleeping princesses you see walking by while waiting for a ride, they aren’t waiting for a kiss, they have heat exhaustion.

The character costumes are also heavy, they cover all their bodies and they absorb the previous employee transpiration so they even smell like hell.

 

Visitors

 

In general, there seems to be a weird desire by visitors to debunk the idea of Disney characters.

They are always trying to unveil the person behind the costume or catching Mickey eating at a restaurant while another Mickey is marching in a parade.

And that’s so strange because it threaten their presumably fantastic vacation.

They spend thousands of dollars to visit a magic place and when they are there the only thing they want is try to ruin that magic.

It is for the sake of your trip that they are preserving the magic.

 

 

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Benefits of being mean

 

We tend to think that relaxed and calm people are the healthiest and happiest in the world.

You wish.

There’s a reason humans still cling to the behaviors that get us tagged as assholes and that’s because they make us healthier.

 

Bad words

 

Most linguists agree that the reason we have such a thing as cursing in human language is because it’s help us release the pain.

 

Every time you smacking the closet door right in the middle of your face it seems to hurt a little less if you scream like a pig. 

That’s because cursing simply increase pain tolerance.

 

Gossip

 

We all know that being fat can take years off your life and that being ugly also because of the suffering it cause but did you know talking about how fat and ugly other people are can boost your health?

Yeah!

A study from the University of Michigan found that gossip has positive health benefits and is the main reason why women live longer than men.

Talking about other people lives help us bond with our friends and also reduce stress.

Gossip is like an RSS feed that keeps you constantly updated on the deviant your social circle is up to.

 

Anger

 

According to science, in the right situations, anger helps your blood pressure and general wellbeing.

Researchers at Carnegie Mellon found that anger, in stressful situations; it was a much better alternative than just keep calm.

Choosing anger provides more positive effects on both blood pressure and mental health than calmness.

 

Complain

 

We all hate people who complain.

But not all complaining causes bad reactions.

In the right context complaining can actually boost the complainer’s health and immunity as well as the health of those who share the same complaints.

It’s all about the power of complaining in groups.

We are social animals and even bitching about things we can’t control gives us a boost if we do it in group.

 

 

 

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Listening to music is very dangerous

Almost all of us loves music and connect with it but we need to watch out since science has proven that music severely affect our brains.

 

Time perception

 

To understand why exactly music makes it seem like less time has passed think of the human brain as a lion eating a bag of money.

It doesn’t matter what the zookeepers distract it with.

 

brain-and-music

 

All that matters is that they give another zookeeper the chance to sneak up and retrieve the money while the lion is busy deciding which one of them to eat.

Similarly when your brain is distracted by music you’ll be less likely to notice things around you and this includes time.

Our brains have limited input capacity and when something else is using up that capacity we’re less likely to think.

The tricky is that it works the opposite way, too.

In some situations listening to music can actually expand perceived time.

 

Drinking

 

Did you ever wake up in a stranger bed and wonder how your dress got replaced by a stranger shirt?

Now you have something to blame it on besides your bad childhood habits: music.

In a study held by the University of Champagne, different types of music playing in the background caused drinkers to change how they’d described the drinks they already had.

Laid back music led people to rate drinks as mellow and upbeat music resulted in more people calling their drinks refreshing.

 

Fear

 

There is a reason that horror films scare the crap out of us and it’s not just the creepy settings and the sudden reveal of the zombie right behind you.

It’s the music.

And sometimes the Steven Seagal.

There are certain sounds that we associate with death because they trigger evolutionary fear.

Screams of fear in almost any animal are made up of what scientists have dubbed discordant noises and any noise that makes you feel very unpleasant falls into this category.

Next time you’re getting freaked out by a movie remember that muting it is a better decision than looking away.

 

Communication

 

Studying music gives you an advantage when it comes to perceiving the emotions of others.

People who play instruments can detect subtle emotional changes in others voice tone.

Also, the fact that they studied music makes them better able to tune out background noise so they can pay attention to what you are saying even at loud places.

People who have studied music have brains wired differently and this rewiring makes them better able to express emotions they are feeling and more able to understand the emotions others express.

This may explain why Adam Levine is so afraid of announcing he is gay.

 

 

 

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The world is ending

What happens with a party when they ran out of drinks? It ends

Same thing is happening with the Earth, we are running out of basic items.

Key resources we consume every day, pretty soon will disappear.

 

Chocolate

 

About 60% of the products we eat every day include chocolate.

With such an amazing figure in mind you may think that we have a sophisticated system in place to ensure that the world never runs out of it.

Wrong.

 

drought

 

 

The majority of the world’s cocoa supply comes from West Africa where the plantations are tended to by slave children.

Considering that children slavery is almost forbidden and that it takes up to five years to grow a new cocoa crop, chocolate will soon became a rare item.

Scientists anticipate that in fewer than 20 years chocolate will become a rarity more expensive than caviar.

 

Tequila

 

The Mexican cactus booze has been in trouble for the last couple of years.

The high demand and diseased crops have seriously threatened its supply in the past.

Now, we might actually be looking at a possible eradication of tequila as a worldwide commodity.

Substitution of gasoline with biofuels made from corn-based ethanol makes farmers in Mexico to abandon their old crops in favor of corn to ship off to the U.S.

This means destroying crops of agave cactus from which tequila is made by setting them on fire, because that’s how they roll in Mexico.

 

Phosphorus

 

You might not even know what phosphorus is but the life of all of us depends on it.

Phosphorus is used to make fertilizer, and without it, there is virtually no way to produce enough food for the world’s population.

China is already hoarding all the phosphorus it has, which hasn’t exactly done anything to calm the global markets.

The demand might continue to rise 2.3 percent a year, seeing as the majority of nations aren’t too keen on starving to death in the future.

The remaining phosphorus is located in Russia and Africa whose reserves might one day basically give them the keys to the planet.

 

Water

 

Even that fight for water is the plot of one shitty Bond movie, in the end, it’s true.

Do you know that the women of South Africa collectively walk the equivalent distance to the moon and back 16 times a day for water?

Thankfully we don’t have to walk that much here but we will be facing serious water shortages in the years ahead.

According to a recent report released by the Natural Resources Defense Council, more than one-third of all counties in the lower 48 states will likely be facing very serious water shortages by the year 2030.

If the global elite were not so incredibly greedy and if we managed our planet better we would not have problems to this degree.

The solution will be that the global elite share some of their wealth.

So watch out global elite, remember what God says in the book of James about those who hoard wealth on this earth …

 

 

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The truth about customer service

 

If today we make a survey about the most hated segment of the population, customer service representatives would share top list together with pedophiles and YouTube commenters.

The only idea of calling customer service is enough to send most people into rage.

Working at a customer centered corporation allows me to understand that some ideas people have about customer service are absolutely wrong.

 

Customer service agents do care

 

Another misconception is that customer service representatives don’t care about customers and are just assistants of the evil corporation that they work for helping them to take your money.

There’s a huge chance that the agent you talk to likes the company as much as you do.

Maybe he’s not even a customer of that company like you are.

So, chances are, after you do everything wrong with the device you purchased because you didn’t read the instructions or the service agreement and you necessarily have to call customer care, the agent will be on your side.

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if you don’t like when a company raises the prices just imagine how the people who have to take the resulting deluge of angry phone calls feel about it.

Yes, you’re both on the same team.

And don’t even imagine if the call center is in India or the Philippines.

Those guys not only hate the company they work for, they hate the system and they especially hate America.

Next time you call customer service remember, if the agent does not immediately become your ally, you are a very bad person.

 

The supervisor

 

Another classic.

People think that if they really need the problem to be solved better talk to a supervisor.

Wrong.

Any customer service rep is capable to better and faster solve your problem than a supervisor.

Supervisors are never better at solving customer problems than agents, and that’s fine because that’s not their job.

Whatever you’re calling about, the customer service rep has probably dealt with the exact same problem on dozens of other phone calls.

Meanwhile, their supervisor sits in a cubicle and monitors how much hold time the agents have.

Even if they got that job by being the very best customer service rep in their time, their days of taking phone calls have long passed and procedures have changed.

By asking to talk to a supervisor you are ensuring being on the phone extra time on hold, then explaining the problem again and at the end your case will be handed to someone way less knowledgeable about how to fix it.

Of course the supervisor will find out how to fix it but not as quickly as the person you were talking before.

 

Customer is always right

 

Go work for two days at any customer service company and there is one thing that will become extremely obvious, customers are almost never right.

For some reason I can’t yet explain people don’t read.

And I’m not talking about the 25 pages manual of the device you purchase, I’m talking about the 2 sentences explanatory email customer service sent you or the one page contract you sign with the company.

If people had half a brain they would read this before they agree to anything.

But that doesn’t happen, people don’t have time to read so they just click everywhere and then when they get charged they call customer service.

And that is because someone makes them believe that the customer is always right.

No, is not.

 

 

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Weirdo prototypes you find at every gym

No matter what gym you go to, there is always more than one eccentric specimen.

 

The loud

Just as if being inside a room fool of sweating strangers was not enough, every single gym has at least one noisy.

The guy or girl who can’t exercise without exhaling like a dying seal.

 

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A key element of the gym social contract is staying away from what bother other people and being by someone moaning, believe me, is not pleasing.

You may find the music from Conan the Barbarian relaxing in comparison with the Duh duh fuh fuh  neeee neeuu neu neu neu niiiiiiiiiiii while you’re trying to do some abs.

 

The advisor

 

Every single machine at the gym is pretty hard to operate, especially during your first sessions.

The last thing in the world you want when trying to navigate a stationary bike’s menu system is audience.

So when the unsolicited advisor approaches you with ‘You see? Riding the really tiny trike is way easier if you’re not holding that weight’ you are not going to like him.

Not exactly not like him, more like want to set him on fire.

 

The starer

 

I know what you are thinking; there are starers in many places other than the gym.

That’s right but given the self-consciousness level at play when working out, and the kind of clothes you are wearing, starers are at their most bothersome in the gym.

I started and quit almost every gym near my house and the main reason is always because of the uncomfortable stares.

 

The weight belted

Eventually you’ll spot someone who has a wrestling championship belt around his back.

Sadly, they don’t look like a wrestling athlete because the world isn’t that magical.

This is weight belted guy.

Ideally these guys will hang out in their own gyms, where they can have conversations with other weight belted people but sometimes one of them shows up in regular people gyms.

The problem with the weight belted guy is humiliation.

Weight belted can do something with one arm that you’d been struggling to do with both legs for hours.

I strongly recommend you find out his schedule and exercise on a different day.

 

 

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Top 10 richest golfers of 2014

Based on last season’s salaries this list looks at the top 10 highest earning golf players.

Unfortunately for the guys who are still searching for their first major title, there simply aren’t enough to go around.

So some of them, if not all of them, will end up disappointed for guys like Westwood and especially Jimenez, the clock really is ticking.

As we have seen though in the last few years of major championships, if Tiger is not playing his best, anyone can win.

 

10. Jordan Spieth – Salary $491,000

 

Jordan Spieth

 

9. Graham DeLaet – Salary $713,000

 

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8. Billy Horschel – Salary $1,700,000

 

Zurich Classic of New Orleans - Final Round

7. Thorbjørn Olesen – Salary $1,750,000

 

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6. David Lingmerth – Salary $2,080,000

 

6

5. Lee Westwood – Salary $2,250,000

 

5

 

4. Ian Poulter – Salary $2,834,000

 

4

3. Henrik Stenson – Salary $3,500,000

 

3

 

2. Sergio Garcia – Salary $3,879,000

 

2

1. Miguel Angel Jimenez – Salary $6,400,000

 

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How to easily get rich

 

Not even one of us think of success as working 40 hours a week for just enough money to have a house a car and travel abroad once a year.

We all want to be rich overnight and spend the rest of our days flexing.

Well, sometimes it happens.

Here I’m inspiring you with some ideas.

 

Sponsored clothing

 

Sometimes the more stupid an idea is the better it works.

Especially in marketing and advertising you don’t need to be even smart to succeed.

And of course, you don’t have to work.

A guy named Jason Sadler decided to set up a website and offered companies to pay him to wear Tshirts with their brands on it, a human billboard let’s say.

 

startup-sign

 

He made more than $300.000 the first year just by wearing a shirt.

Eventually he started hiring people to perform the hard work of wearing Tshirts and his total earnings reached somewhere in the upper tier six figures.

For wearing a shirt!

 

Web domains

 

Domain names are a huge business, with professional investors and manuals and everything you imagine.

And you could have made some serious money if you happened to jump on the train before anyone even realized there was a train.

A guy named Chris Clark registered the domain name Pizza.com in 1994.

He maintained the domain for $20 a year for 14 years and then placed the domain up for auction.

He netted $2.6 million dollar.

I bet all intellectually hard workers out there are feeling pretty dumb uh?

And this is not the only story.

Very similar chain of events took place with Vodka.com and Sex.com sold for $3 million and $5.6 million respectively.

 

Being lucky

 

Imagine a friend ask you to be partner is some business but without offering you a lot of money.

He wouldn’t even pay you because the business is new and he’s not making much money.

Of course you say yes and work hard just for the sake of your friendship.

What he offers is being a partner so if someday the business goes well you will be 50% and 50%.

You feel very happy because you do what you like, you help a friend and you build up a bond with him based on mutual trust.

Less than 15 years later you cash in your stock options and leave the company $36 million richer.

The company was Google but it can also happen the same with OhmyGodd or any other startup.

 

 

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Being young sucks

 

We tend to remember our teen years as wonderful but that’s because out memory fails.

Teen and young years are the ones you spend being suicidal and depressive.

Being adult means happiness and knowledge.

As you grow up you realize life is amazing and you are capable of attain any objective.

Mind and body of young people are not yet ready to enjoy life and that’s why their lives are hell.

 

Young people brains are not developed

 

If you are not yet an adult, your brain is undergoing horribly awkward changes.

During teenage years, every little calculation the brain makes is wrong.

All the stupid behavior you perform while you are young is not your fault.

Teenage brain is built in such a way that impressing other people is more or less the prime imperative.

 

Simple tasks are stressful for young people

 

There is a reason why young people are so whiny about little insignificant problems and is because for them it actually feels like gigantically stressful.

 

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This is another symptom of the not yet formed brain I mentioned above.

The part of the human brain that makes you stop and reconsider doing stupid things is the prefrontal cortex.

It regulates decision making and helps control impulses.

If you put a teenager under a brain scan, his prefrontal cortex activity is almost shut down and with it, his ability to calculate risk.

 

Young people can’t process multi step instructions

 

Have you ever bought a cup of coffee and the boy serving you seems like suffering and ACV trying to remember both the size and the flavor you ordered?

A recent study from the Department of Psychology at the University of Michigan shows that teenagers’ brains don’t yet have the part that handles multi-tasking.

The part of the brain that figures out what to do when you get a variety of information at once and how to sort through it all it doesn’t develop until after you’re adult.

 

Young people are stupid

 

When we were young technology’s limitations required us to fill in the blanks thus strengthen our imagination.

Today with video games so ridiculously realistic kids sit drooling in front of the screen and their minds get numbed from lack of use.

Technology makes kids dumber.

Text and instant messaging are making kids write ‘ur’ instead of ‘your’ and lot of other retarded truncations that every time you received an email you wonder if you’re looking at the successor to Esperanto.

 

 

 

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