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Something to share?

 

Some people think they are connected because they share content on the internet.

The idea of connection based on the fact that we can see what you are having for breakfast don’t seem to realize that no one actually read your posts.

Before the internet people didn’t care about each other neither but at least they din’t indulge the illusion like they do today.

 

Twitter

 

People think that having 48 followers’ means that 48 human beings read everything they say.

Well, I have news.

 

oooooooo

 

 

 

Following a person on Twitter is basically the version of clicking Like on Facebook.

The people who follow you don’t read you, they like you.

But the illusion that Twitter creates is powerful.

Even knowing that nobody actually read what you post, you keep the hope alive that tweeting something means interacting with your followers.

 

Online quiz

 

Which Harry Potter character are you?

Which superhero are you?

How stupid are you?

You name the faggotly question and there is an online quiz to find the answer.

Do you know who is interested in those test results?

No one.

It is near inexplicably how everyone on the internet believes that all the other people want to see their quiz results.

I cannot imagine even one good reason for a lucid creature to be interested in something like that.

 

Chat captures

 

Another thing everyone mistakenly thinks the world will be interested in is chat captures.

You can’t scroll more than 2 pages at any funny page without seeing a chat image.

People think their own chats are funny enough to be captured and sent to a page so they can become public entertainment.

Even assuming that those chats may be funny among your friends, all the fun ends the very same minute you share it with people who don’t know you or any of your friends.

What on Earth make you suppose that any of us would find funny your internal jokes?

It’s amazing how much fun you guys have together but please, don’t share it with us.

 

 

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You have no idea who you are

Have you ever wonder why nobody tells the smelly guy that he smells?

Or why he can’t smell himself or notice that we move away every time he shows up?

The reason is because we all are the smelly guy in some way.

As smart as you are, when it comes to judge yourself, you are always wrong.

 

You are not nice

 

Even if you try hard and you think you are nice, you are not.

No matter how many self-deprecating jokes you make or how much you talk about how you suck and play the role of the lovable loser, deeply inside you think you are nicer than you actually are.

 

 

perception

 

 

Every single human being overestimates how generous he is.

A study from the Department of Psychology at the University of Arizona reveals that we have an accurate idea of how selfish the rest of the world is but we don’t perceive ourselves as selfish.

We all picture ourselves as an elite moral minority.

 

You are not free

 

Remember that interview where Charlie Sheen was giving advices to Lindsay about drugs?

That’s the perfect example.

That man was convinced he was not in the same situation than Lindsay and he pictured himself as authorized to give her advices about drugs and self-control.

Given the fact he is a public figure we just laugh about him and make fun of the situation.

You should stop laughing because science says that bizarre double standard like this apply to all of us.

While we are away from drugs, alcohol and promiscuous sex, we are not able to calculate how much of temptation we can handle.

You think you can handle a lot more temptation than you truly can.

The surer you are about your self-control, the more likely you will end up screwed at the first opportunity.

Without consciously thinking it, you assume that our own future is an open horizon of possibilities.

You think that your future depends on your actions and that your day to day choices really matter.

And you think that any day, you’ll break free of the matrix and just fly away.

 

You are racist

 

Think about the following.

Racism is a huge problem and it influences jury decisions, hiring practices and every kind of organizational decision.

So it is huge.

Now tell me, how many racists do you know?

So? How can racism be such a gigantic social issue if we don’t even have racists?

It’s simple, we are all racists and we lie about it.

Especially you.

 

 

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Will Batman always win?

 

Yes.

The question isn’t whether or not Batman will always win; the question is why he always does, why Batman never loses.

What we perceive as a defeat in his movies is just Batman facing a new form of victory.

In this article I will explain the attributes that make Batman undefeatable.

 

Insanity

 

Is Bruce Wayne Batman being silly or is Batman Bruce Wayne being crazy?

The answer is they are both crazier and dumber than you ever imagine.

It’s notorious that Bruce Wayne isn’t simply pretending to be disturbed.

And despite the debate whether Batman is the personality shelf where Bruce Wayne stores the crazy plates, one thing is certain: Batman has his own absolutely crazy persona.

 

the-dark-knight-rises-batman

 

 

Batman is full of bad trauma like dad not loving him or losing her supermodel girlfriend.

And this is why we all love you, Batman.

Craziness is the most significant Batman’s superpower because as in real life, crazy cannot be defeated, it can only be diverted.

It is lunacy, my friends, that settles the day in Gotham City.

Of course Bane is brilliant and powerful but he made one mistake, he brought logic into a crazy fight.

 

He is always ready

 

Gotham is where plans go to die.

That’s why Joker’s a perfect halt for Batman, because he’s the embodiment of chaos.

However we need to remember that Batman is, too.

Batman wears the night as a costume and makes himself the patron of unknown terrors.

He isn’t about order, he’s about control.

The Joker, like most great comedians, offers a perfect critique of how screwed we all are, but no solutions.

And Batman, like many offended audiences, keeps interrupting the act to tell him he sucks.

What Bane and The Joker fails to understand is that every moment Batman is beating criminals, he’s doing what he loves, and once there are no more criminals, he’s getting what he wants.

In any scenario, he’s at least breaking even.

 

Apathy

 

Batman doesn’t care about nature, ecology, global warming or any other trending issue.

Batman is a traumatized orphan and that’s why he doesn’t adapt well to society.

He surrounds with women he doesn’t like and he pretend to get drunk so other people will think he parties hard.

If Bruce Wayne were on Facebook he’d have 45 friends.

The only thing he cares about is people he can trust; everything else for him is peripheral.

And the result of this detachment is that he’s obligated to no one.

There’s a great advantage in disinterest.

 

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Social networking tips

According to a worldwide study 3 out of 4 couples married in the last decade met on the internet.

If you also want to find interesting people please read carefully this tips.

 

–          Please choose an interesting and realistic profile picture.

 

Social-Media-People

 

 

The picture reflects the features you want to be shown about your personality, so be very mindful in the selection.

Avoid glasses, boobs and make up.

Of course do not add another person. Remember, is a profile picture of you, not a soccer team poster.

If the picture portrait you doing something or in a specific place, make sure that is something usual.

For you to show how great the Everest climb was you will want to create an album, not a profile picture.

 

–          Do not include all your personal information in your profile and make it visible to only your friends, never public.

Even to your friends, hide information, hide as much information as you can without appearing arrogant.

 

–          Stay away of any statement.

Avoid religious, sportive or political references as much as possible.

If other people post in your wall do not like the post or comment, leave it to the public.

 

–          Think ten times before posting something and a thousand before commenting.

You will not have a second chance to re post that so count until ten and when in doubt, throw it out.

Also pictures.

Pictures are the image you project to the world about you.

Most people don’t read so they only take information from your pictures.

 

–          Be responsive, educated and quiet.

Reply to every single message and invitation you receive, even if you don’t know who the person is.

 

–          Ask for advice about your profile.

Most of the time your friends and family are the best on correcting you from what is wrong.

Use that objectivity power they have and ask them what they think you should modify in your profile.

And obey.

Also look yourself at your profile from another person device so you can see how it looks to other people or use the ‘View as’ feature.

 

–          Be specific in the information.

You should not include too much personal information but if you decide to add some do not overpopulate that area.

Let’s say you want to add some music you like, ok but just a few.

Trust me, by telling the world that you like music you are not doing any favor to yourself, pretty much the contrary.

–          If there is something you really can’t stand it is better to subtle let that know to viewers.

It can be anything, maybe you don’t tolerate blond people or black people ok, with just one little sarcastic comment is more than enough to maintain blondes and darkies away from you.

 

–          Show humor in your profile.

Without being goofy you need to make sure everyone understand you don’t take yourself or your internet profile seriously.

 

–          Allow yourself to make mistakes.

There need to be something in your profile that shows uncaring.

Even if you’ve been thinking during a month about it, it needs to reflect careless.

If you are perfect like me you probably wouldn’t find any mistakes so take advantage of the social network itself to do that for you.

Just by not posting a background picture or by not selecting the correct city you live in, people will think you don’t know how to do it or you don’t care about it.

 

 

 

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Top 10 richest NFL players of 2014

Based on 2014 contracts we’ve made the list of the top 10 highest earning NFL players.

 

 

10. Mario Williams – Salary $16,000,ooo

 

 

Mario Williams

 

 

9. Larry Fitzgerald – Salary $16,062,5oo

 

 

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8. Tony Romo – Salary $17,071,428

 

tony-romo

 

 

 

7. Jay Cutler – Salary $18,100,ooo

 

 

jay-cutler

 

 

6. Aaron Rodgers – Salary $18,678,571

 

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5. Calvin Johnson – Salary $18,812,5oo

 

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4. Matt Ryan – Salary $18,958,333

 

 

MATT-RYAN

 

3. Peyton Manning – Salary $19,200,ooo

 

Eagles Broncos Football

 

2. Drew Brees – Salary $20,000,ooo

 

Drew Brees

 

 

1. Joe Flacco – Salary $20,100,ooo

 

joe-flacco

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Animals hate humans

 

Animals are bastards.

Animals have bad attitudes to themselves and also to humans.

If we want to last as specie we need to stop petting and protecting them and leave them to the wild.

It is very dull to accept an image about animals based on cartoons or Disney movies because while we are busy rooting for them they’ve been quietly revealing their true colors causing lot of pain.

 

Squirrels

 

Nature is like prison, if you don’t molest the softest guy on your block you become the softest guy on the block.

That’s exactly what’s happening with squirrels.

 

Beware Animals on the Trail

 

In December 2013 a four year old girl thought she was being hugged by his furry little woodland friend until it started digging its fingers into his scalp.

At this point the girl started screaming and rolling in the grass.

The squirrel just dug in that much harder and killed the girl.

And this is not an isolated incident.

A squirrel attacked six people in the U.K. this summer and the whole town of Bennington was terrorized by a group of gay squirrels.

 

Cows

 

We tend to assume cows are content to eat grass and wait around to get killed by the gun from men.

Cows are about as harmless as any 1,500 pound creature can be and even more if you consider that there are 200 million of them in America alone.

Cows are legion.

Last year in England, cows killed four people between June and July.

And that was not an outbreak of mad cows; there were four separate incidents in four separate towns.

A fifth person, the spokesman of the London Blind Association, was attacked but not killed while he was out walking his guide dog.

 

Deer

 

I hear deer and automatically think Bambi.

But Bambi is just a cartoon and regular old deer are pure evil.

Deer need lots of calcium to grow their antlers and sometimes they see humans, especially infants drinking milk, as a good source of it.

They specifically target the bones, spitting out the meat and skin like watermelon seeds.

That doesn’t sounds as friendly as Bambi, does it?

 

Bunnies

 

Bunnies look like they are the result of sex between cotton balls and a stuffed animal.

There is no possible way you may figure a bunny could do anything malicious.

Last month in Australia an evil rabbit, presumably after watching too much Monty Python, decided to attack an elderly woman while she hung her laundry.

The little bastard made hit and run attack at the old lady, causing her to die.

When her husband found her body, he was attacked as well.

He fought off the crazed rabbit with a stick and police later reported that when they arrived the bunny was winning the fight.

 

 

 

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How to stop being an idiot

 

There is a reason why clichés exist and most of them have to do with humans being an unimaginative specie.

Another reason for them to exist is that we constantly seek comfort and we think that repeating those popular phrases will create the illusion of intelligence.

It is up to you keep being an idiot or start being a person who speaks what creates inside his mind.

 

The exception that proves the rule

 

The exception that proves the rule is a Disneylandian jump into twisted logic.

 

 

Claiming that something that breaks a pattern merely reveals the existence of a pattern is not only untrue, it’s also crazily illogic.

If something doesn’t follow the rule is exactly the opposite of proving the existence of that rule.

Whatever that is breaking the pattern is actually a proof that there is no such a rule.

 

Too long. Didn’t read

 

There are lots of internet cliché like ‘Fail’ or ‘Dafuq’ for example but the most overused by idiots is TLDR.

This one it actually do fail in its own execution.

Even in situations where the term is appropriate because yes, some things are too long, in order for you to figure that out, you have to read it.

Only then you can say whether the presentation lasted longer than the idea.

Too long wish I didn’t read TLWIDR would make much sense.

Before you all smart internet commenting explain it to me, yes, I know you can look at some text and decide not to read it because is long.

But the trollish use of TLDR means that something is not worth reading.

 

Everything happens for a reason

 

This one wouldn’t bethat retarded if they take it literally.

But no, they believe they are part of some mystic unseen hand that controls the universe in their own favor.

Yeah sure, you are fat, ugly and bald because God has better plan for you.

This formula insists that happy endings always exist.

You see, they would never find how amazing your blood color is if that guy wouldn’t shoot you in the abdomen.

Or if there is no happy ending then your suffering benefits another people like

Aw don’t be sad that you were fired from your dream job, think about the great opportunity you gave to that woman that is now taking your place.

I agree that not every suffering is pointless or that nothing good can ever come out of a bad situation but the arrogance that comes from the belief that tragic events are always justified as part of a larger plan is just intolerable for me.

 

Good always win

 

Do I have to explain this one?

I guess yes because people keep saying this all the time.

There are a lot of good people that have a great life and are winners in life but being a winner itself is not the test of greatness.

Let me give you an example.

In 1969 the Beatles release Abbey Road.

During that year you also had Jimi Hendrix, Pink Floyd, and Led Zeppelin on the peak of their careers.

Do you know what the number 1 song of 1969 was? Sugar Sugar by The Archies.

Good always win?

Maybe that one was the exception that proves the rule.

 

 

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The future belongs to ants

Is very likely that you don’t think about ants as a real threat.

You might be thinking that they are not a big deal because they are small but the truth is that they are specially evil and powerful.

They will wait for you to go to sleep, climb on your face and bite you to death.

And your family.

We need to stop them before they take over.

 

Ants don’t belong to Earth

 

There is no need for us to preserve ants because they are invaders.

They are the worst animal invaders of all time.

 

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Ants don’t play any positive role in our ecosystem because they don’t even belong here.

They’re just creating a blind trail of destruction and domination.

 

Ants kill everything

 

It’s not just that they’re horrible invaders but they’re actually destroying whole civilizations of other creatures.

They are also destroying the ecosystem.

First, they invaded and either got rid of or assimilated all of the larger, native ants.

Then, all the species that used to feed on those big ants will die and finally all of the animals that depended on this species will be also extinguished.

Ants actually benefits from destruction.

 

Poison doesn’t kill ants

 

Ants don’t die when you spray them with pesticide.

In fact and I know this is hard to believe, they do the opposite of dying.

They live even harder.

According to the National University of Manaus, spraying ants with pesticides causes them to lay more eggs.

Ants have already thought of our clever plans and they’re way ahead of us, metaphorically speaking.

They are all around us, literally speaking.

 

 

 

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Life has no meaning

 

You may listen some people tell that school is important or college is important or your job is important.

They lie.

Nothing that has you as a main character is important for the simple reason that you are not important at all.

And that’s perfectly fine, we are not here to be important.

Of course we are not here to be happy either.

The only skill you need to learn in school and college is how to socialize and be a functioning human in society.

 

meaning-of-life

And that’s exactly what being a human means.

Life is not about being beautiful, or happy, or rich, or famous, life is about being functional.

It is very important to learn how to be a human, how to meet the right people, and how to maintain your social network.

There is an enormous connection between how smart you are and how useful you are.

And despite your own perception is very likely that you are an idiot.

You probably know a lot about a lot of things and you have been gathering information for years but that is not even related to how stupid you are.

Stupid people also receive information, read books, watch movies and browse the internet.

Life is all about looking back on your past self and realizing how stupid you were.

‘Oh, I don’t understand why I was in love with that mean woman!’ or ‘How can I be working 5 years for this asshole manager!’

And you’ll keep convincing yourself that even though you were stupid in the past, now you’ve got it figured out.

Wrong,

You will be a little less retarded the day you reach the understanding that you were idiot in the past and you are an idiot today.

And then you’ll smartly say ‘Well I was an idiot two years ago and two years before that and I’m an idiot right now too’.

The infiniteness of your stupidity is the most valuable lesson you may ever learn in your entire life.

So many people will watch movies or read books and think ‘Yes, I understand the meaning of this movie’ or ‘I know what the writer was trying to say in the book’.

No, you don’t.

Those people took the time to actually create a movie and write a book while you are here reading this article and being an idiot.

I’m an idiot too, I have nothing about life figured out and I’m probably the dumbest person in the planet but I have an advantage against you.

I admit it.

 

 

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Happiest place on earth my snow white ass

 

According to his slogan Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth.

That description may fit for some specific kids and a few teenagers that go there completely boozed but for the rest of us, everything about Disneyland is a pain.

 

Epcot

 

Epcot is like experiencing the different cultures of the world but without the culture part.

If you visited Magic Kingdom you probably remember Epcot as the one with all the weird educational rides that teach you nothing.

Epcot is also the only theme park with alcohol so I recommend you to leave it for the last day of vacations.

 

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Every bathroom you enter at Epcot is packed of passed out people so they start littering the bushes and trees and dropping in the street.

At Epcot there is also the Mission Space, a highest speed attraction.

Mission Space is like a big centrifuge ride so given the alcohol element already described, it is very likely that you will end up wearing some dude’s lunch for the rest of the day.

 

Costumes

 

The regular Disney costume is made of wool and polyester.

Given that the average temperature in Florida is 95°F (35°C) being all day long hugging those huge stuffed animals is something any kid would like to avoid.

Not even to mention being the guy wearing them.

All those sleeping princesses you see walking by while waiting for a ride, they aren’t waiting for a kiss, they have heat exhaustion.

The character costumes are also heavy, they cover all their bodies and they absorb the previous employee transpiration so they even smell like hell.

 

Visitors

 

In general, there seems to be a weird desire by visitors to debunk the idea of Disney characters.

They are always trying to unveil the person behind the costume or catching Mickey eating at a restaurant while another Mickey is marching in a parade.

And that’s so strange because it threaten their presumably fantastic vacation.

They spend thousands of dollars to visit a magic place and when they are there the only thing they want is try to ruin that magic.

It is for the sake of your trip that they are preserving the magic.

 

 

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