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How to stop being an idiot

 

There is a reason why clichés exist and most of them have to do with humans being an unimaginative specie.

Another reason for them to exist is that we constantly seek comfort and we think that repeating those popular phrases will create the illusion of intelligence.

It is up to you keep being an idiot or start being a person who speaks what creates inside his mind.

 

The exception that proves the rule

 

The exception that proves the rule is a Disneylandian jump into twisted logic.

 

 

Claiming that something that breaks a pattern merely reveals the existence of a pattern is not only untrue, it’s also crazily illogic.

If something doesn’t follow the rule is exactly the opposite of proving the existence of that rule.

Whatever that is breaking the pattern is actually a proof that there is no such a rule.

 

Too long. Didn’t read

 

There are lots of internet cliché like ‘Fail’ or ‘Dafuq’ for example but the most overused by idiots is TLDR.

This one it actually do fail in its own execution.

Even in situations where the term is appropriate because yes, some things are too long, in order for you to figure that out, you have to read it.

Only then you can say whether the presentation lasted longer than the idea.

Too long wish I didn’t read TLWIDR would make much sense.

Before you all smart internet commenting explain it to me, yes, I know you can look at some text and decide not to read it because is long.

But the trollish use of TLDR means that something is not worth reading.

 

Everything happens for a reason

 

This one wouldn’t bethat retarded if they take it literally.

But no, they believe they are part of some mystic unseen hand that controls the universe in their own favor.

Yeah sure, you are fat, ugly and bald because God has better plan for you.

This formula insists that happy endings always exist.

You see, they would never find how amazing your blood color is if that guy wouldn’t shoot you in the abdomen.

Or if there is no happy ending then your suffering benefits another people like

Aw don’t be sad that you were fired from your dream job, think about the great opportunity you gave to that woman that is now taking your place.

I agree that not every suffering is pointless or that nothing good can ever come out of a bad situation but the arrogance that comes from the belief that tragic events are always justified as part of a larger plan is just intolerable for me.

 

Good always win

 

Do I have to explain this one?

I guess yes because people keep saying this all the time.

There are a lot of good people that have a great life and are winners in life but being a winner itself is not the test of greatness.

Let me give you an example.

In 1969 the Beatles release Abbey Road.

During that year you also had Jimi Hendrix, Pink Floyd, and Led Zeppelin on the peak of their careers.

Do you know what the number 1 song of 1969 was? Sugar Sugar by The Archies.

Good always win?

Maybe that one was the exception that proves the rule.

 

 

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Life has no meaning

 

You may listen some people tell that school is important or college is important or your job is important.

They lie.

Nothing that has you as a main character is important for the simple reason that you are not important at all.

And that’s perfectly fine, we are not here to be important.

Of course we are not here to be happy either.

The only skill you need to learn in school and college is how to socialize and be a functioning human in society.

 

meaning-of-life

And that’s exactly what being a human means.

Life is not about being beautiful, or happy, or rich, or famous, life is about being functional.

It is very important to learn how to be a human, how to meet the right people, and how to maintain your social network.

There is an enormous connection between how smart you are and how useful you are.

And despite your own perception is very likely that you are an idiot.

You probably know a lot about a lot of things and you have been gathering information for years but that is not even related to how stupid you are.

Stupid people also receive information, read books, watch movies and browse the internet.

Life is all about looking back on your past self and realizing how stupid you were.

‘Oh, I don’t understand why I was in love with that mean woman!’ or ‘How can I be working 5 years for this asshole manager!’

And you’ll keep convincing yourself that even though you were stupid in the past, now you’ve got it figured out.

Wrong,

You will be a little less retarded the day you reach the understanding that you were idiot in the past and you are an idiot today.

And then you’ll smartly say ‘Well I was an idiot two years ago and two years before that and I’m an idiot right now too’.

The infiniteness of your stupidity is the most valuable lesson you may ever learn in your entire life.

So many people will watch movies or read books and think ‘Yes, I understand the meaning of this movie’ or ‘I know what the writer was trying to say in the book’.

No, you don’t.

Those people took the time to actually create a movie and write a book while you are here reading this article and being an idiot.

I’m an idiot too, I have nothing about life figured out and I’m probably the dumbest person in the planet but I have an advantage against you.

I admit it.

 

 

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Benefits of being mean

 

We tend to think that relaxed and calm people are the healthiest and happiest in the world.

You wish.

There’s a reason humans still cling to the behaviors that get us tagged as assholes and that’s because they make us healthier.

 

Bad words

 

Most linguists agree that the reason we have such a thing as cursing in human language is because it’s help us release the pain.

 

Every time you smacking the closet door right in the middle of your face it seems to hurt a little less if you scream like a pig. 

That’s because cursing simply increase pain tolerance.

 

Gossip

 

We all know that being fat can take years off your life and that being ugly also because of the suffering it cause but did you know talking about how fat and ugly other people are can boost your health?

Yeah!

A study from the University of Michigan found that gossip has positive health benefits and is the main reason why women live longer than men.

Talking about other people lives help us bond with our friends and also reduce stress.

Gossip is like an RSS feed that keeps you constantly updated on the deviant your social circle is up to.

 

Anger

 

According to science, in the right situations, anger helps your blood pressure and general wellbeing.

Researchers at Carnegie Mellon found that anger, in stressful situations; it was a much better alternative than just keep calm.

Choosing anger provides more positive effects on both blood pressure and mental health than calmness.

 

Complain

 

We all hate people who complain.

But not all complaining causes bad reactions.

In the right context complaining can actually boost the complainer’s health and immunity as well as the health of those who share the same complaints.

It’s all about the power of complaining in groups.

We are social animals and even bitching about things we can’t control gives us a boost if we do it in group.

 

 

 

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Weirdo prototypes you find at every gym

No matter what gym you go to, there is always more than one eccentric specimen.

 

The loud

Just as if being inside a room fool of sweating strangers was not enough, every single gym has at least one noisy.

The guy or girl who can’t exercise without exhaling like a dying seal.

 

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A key element of the gym social contract is staying away from what bother other people and being by someone moaning, believe me, is not pleasing.

You may find the music from Conan the Barbarian relaxing in comparison with the Duh duh fuh fuh  neeee neeuu neu neu neu niiiiiiiiiiii while you’re trying to do some abs.

 

The advisor

 

Every single machine at the gym is pretty hard to operate, especially during your first sessions.

The last thing in the world you want when trying to navigate a stationary bike’s menu system is audience.

So when the unsolicited advisor approaches you with ‘You see? Riding the really tiny trike is way easier if you’re not holding that weight’ you are not going to like him.

Not exactly not like him, more like want to set him on fire.

 

The starer

 

I know what you are thinking; there are starers in many places other than the gym.

That’s right but given the self-consciousness level at play when working out, and the kind of clothes you are wearing, starers are at their most bothersome in the gym.

I started and quit almost every gym near my house and the main reason is always because of the uncomfortable stares.

 

The weight belted

Eventually you’ll spot someone who has a wrestling championship belt around his back.

Sadly, they don’t look like a wrestling athlete because the world isn’t that magical.

This is weight belted guy.

Ideally these guys will hang out in their own gyms, where they can have conversations with other weight belted people but sometimes one of them shows up in regular people gyms.

The problem with the weight belted guy is humiliation.

Weight belted can do something with one arm that you’d been struggling to do with both legs for hours.

I strongly recommend you find out his schedule and exercise on a different day.

 

 

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Top 10 richest golfers of 2014

Based on last season’s salaries this list looks at the top 10 highest earning golf players.

Unfortunately for the guys who are still searching for their first major title, there simply aren’t enough to go around.

So some of them, if not all of them, will end up disappointed for guys like Westwood and especially Jimenez, the clock really is ticking.

As we have seen though in the last few years of major championships, if Tiger is not playing his best, anyone can win.

 

10. Jordan Spieth – Salary $491,000

 

Jordan Spieth

 

9. Graham DeLaet – Salary $713,000

 

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8. Billy Horschel – Salary $1,700,000

 

Zurich Classic of New Orleans - Final Round

7. Thorbjørn Olesen – Salary $1,750,000

 

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6. David Lingmerth – Salary $2,080,000

 

6

5. Lee Westwood – Salary $2,250,000

 

5

 

4. Ian Poulter – Salary $2,834,000

 

4

3. Henrik Stenson – Salary $3,500,000

 

3

 

2. Sergio Garcia – Salary $3,879,000

 

2

1. Miguel Angel Jimenez – Salary $6,400,000

 

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Being young sucks

 

We tend to remember our teen years as wonderful but that’s because out memory fails.

Teen and young years are the ones you spend being suicidal and depressive.

Being adult means happiness and knowledge.

As you grow up you realize life is amazing and you are capable of attain any objective.

Mind and body of young people are not yet ready to enjoy life and that’s why their lives are hell.

 

Young people brains are not developed

 

If you are not yet an adult, your brain is undergoing horribly awkward changes.

During teenage years, every little calculation the brain makes is wrong.

All the stupid behavior you perform while you are young is not your fault.

Teenage brain is built in such a way that impressing other people is more or less the prime imperative.

 

Simple tasks are stressful for young people

 

There is a reason why young people are so whiny about little insignificant problems and is because for them it actually feels like gigantically stressful.

 

stupid-things-teenagers-do1015980771-jun-28-2012-600x400

 

 

This is another symptom of the not yet formed brain I mentioned above.

The part of the human brain that makes you stop and reconsider doing stupid things is the prefrontal cortex.

It regulates decision making and helps control impulses.

If you put a teenager under a brain scan, his prefrontal cortex activity is almost shut down and with it, his ability to calculate risk.

 

Young people can’t process multi step instructions

 

Have you ever bought a cup of coffee and the boy serving you seems like suffering and ACV trying to remember both the size and the flavor you ordered?

A recent study from the Department of Psychology at the University of Michigan shows that teenagers’ brains don’t yet have the part that handles multi-tasking.

The part of the brain that figures out what to do when you get a variety of information at once and how to sort through it all it doesn’t develop until after you’re adult.

 

Young people are stupid

 

When we were young technology’s limitations required us to fill in the blanks thus strengthen our imagination.

Today with video games so ridiculously realistic kids sit drooling in front of the screen and their minds get numbed from lack of use.

Technology makes kids dumber.

Text and instant messaging are making kids write ‘ur’ instead of ‘your’ and lot of other retarded truncations that every time you received an email you wonder if you’re looking at the successor to Esperanto.

 

 

 

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Advices are always wrong

 

When someone is sad we have some repetitive advices we give to them that are absolutely useless.

We just say them because sound smart and somebody said them to us before where we were in that situation.

Deep inside we know they do no better but we just can’t help but repeat them.

I’m giving you some examples in this article so please, next time you feel the urge to say something stupid, think for a minute.

 

Speak your feelings

 

Since we are little kids, people continuously teach us to speak our feelings as if it was something good.

Now think, who is the most annoying contact you have on Facebook? Who is the most hated person at work?

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You got it right. The one who speak out his feelings.

Trust me; nobody is ever going to know that you have a problem if you don’t let them know.

So what you really need is just to toughen up, look to other people with superiority right in their eyes and let her know that you are fine.

Not also is annoying to be the one who speak feelings out but is also worthless.

Nobody is ever going to care about your feelings, people may pretend they do but because of an ulterior objective.

Growing up means finding out people doesn’t care about each other.

 

The past is not important

 

‘What happened happened and you can’t change any of that so forget about the past and move forward with your life’

Just partially.

Life basics is to learn how to avoid what you don’t like and do more of what you do like.

It’s not a good idea to forget what made you feel happy and what made you feel bad.

Enjoyment, pleasure, great experiences are what make you a better person.

Most of the time, when someone tells you to ‘put all that behind’ is because they are about to manipulate you.

 

Live every day as the last

 

Flowery.

What we should do is living today being productive so tomorrow we can look back and be proud.

Then the day after tomorrow we should be even better and the next one better, and keep growing.

It’s completely right to enjoy the moment you are living, but people who spend all of their time living in the present they have a name… they’re children.

And that’s exactly why they have other people to take care of them.

 

Fight for what you believe

 

Do you understand how dangerous this advice is?

The Ku Klux Klan fight for what they believe in.

Please, we need to understand that not fighting for what we believe is sometimes a great idea.

Most of the things we believe are wrong anyway.

 

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Top 10 richest basketball players of 2014

 

Based on this season’s salaries this list looks at the top 10 highest earning players in this year’s NBA.

Though young players have begun to emerge, this list will show that old faces are still dominating the league, and commanding the highest salaries.

 

10. Blake Griffin – Salary $16,441,500

10

 

 

9. Kevin Durant – Salary $17,832,627

 

9

 

8. Chris Paul – Salary $18,668,431

 

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7. Dwyane Wade – Salary $18,673,000

 

7

 

6. Lebron James – Salary $19,067,500

 

6

 

5. Chris Bosh – Salary $19,067,500

 

Miami Heat Media Day

 

 

4. Dwight Howard – Salary $20,513,178

 

4

 

3. Carmelo Anthony – Salary $21,388,953

 

3

 

2. Joe Johnson – Salary $21,466,718

 

2

 

1. Dirk Nowitzki – Salary $22,721,381

 

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GameInformer Magazine

 

Resident Evil movies are better than the games

 

In my humble opinion the Resident Evil movies are the most successful video game movie series ever made.

Some gamers complain about the movies but I love the movies and have powerful reasons.

 

Gamers are not allowed to criticize movies

 

In 1996 Resident Evil games and their fans surrendered any right to criticize any moving image with the worst intro movie ever made.

Back then people were still excited about full motion videos and you’d swear that Resident Evil was trying to warn them that it would never get better.

If you didn’t watch that clip I’m not going to ruin the blissful ignorance you’ve wisely earned.

But let’s just say that people have looked tougher than this grizzled action hero while losing on Cake Wars.

 

The movies have a better plot

 

The first complaint gamers have about the movies is that they don’t follow the plot of the games.

Of course they don’t, the movies aren’t nine hours long and even if they were, eight hours of watching people slowly fetch pointless objects while avoiding shambling bodies isn’t cinema.

The plot of Resident Evil games is dumb.

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In fact the plot of the original games got so stupid that even the games dumped most of it, restarting in Resident Evil 4.

 

Sequel strategy

 

The games had nine different kinds of virus and parasite.

It’s like they got confused about whether people were playing because they liked to shoot zombies or because they were interested in virologist fan fiction.

Since any one of the viruses in the game can apparently do anything, it’s more pointless replication of terrible things than the Kardashian family.

Bizarrely, the movies are better at rebooting between levels than the computer games.

The movies approach sequels like tank combat.

The old one blows up, so you make the new one bigger and even more awesome.

Anything that could have complicated the story is blown up at the start of the next movie.

The movies are incredibly and stupid but they work.

Each Resident Evil movie makes more money than the one before, which is exactly the kind of exponential profit from disasters the Umbrella Corporation would have been going for all this time.

The movies get terrible reviews but are a huge amount of fun.

And I think that we should admit that the games were the exact opposite.

 

Movies don’t waste as much time as games

 

Fans of the game have complained that the movies are lowbrow, and yes, they are clinically incapable of going five minutes without doing something awesomely stupid.

At least they’re doing something.

Games use more padding to keep people stuck than Arkham Asylum, and the contents make less sense.

Most of the games are one part zombies to 20 parts fetch quest.

Resident Evil 2 has you placing a unicorn medal in the police station foyer fountain statue so it can pour you a key.

The quests have less than no explanation and the result is trawling endless narrow corridors full of undead and picking up anything you find because those are the only paths you can follow.

Just like a Pac Man.

 

 

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The Miami Herald

 

Of course Batman is better than Superman

I can’t believe there are people still arguing about Batman versus Superman.

The debate always devolves to the playground level of who would win in a fight and this ultimate showdown proves that Batman is the better character.

Because he would lose.

Supporting Superman because he’d win is like supporting a nuclear missile against your cell phone because it would beat your phone.

Yes, of course it would, but which one is more interesting?

Which one would you rather spend time with?

 

Batman stories are way interesting

 

Superman is the original comic book superhero as we now understand the term and like many 80 year old men, he repeats his stories too often.

Not killing people is an important part of Superman’s character, but there’s a huge gap between a moral code against murder and letting idiots who can afford fancy dress waste four months of everyone’s lives.

Batman’s insistence on the same code is much impressive because he’s actually risking himself for it.

 

superman-vs-batman-images

 

 

Batman’s everyday confrontations are still interesting.

You know he’s going to win, but he always has multiple methods, none of which are just be immune at them until they die of old age.

He can turn one criminal with a gun into one of the coolest takedowns of all time.

This is why Batman has brilliant video games and Superman doesn’t.

Batman is far superior to his enemies, but will still be shot to death the second he screws up and that’s what makes victory fun.

Superman games are all annoying because he has to be ridiculously weakened, because challenge is impossible when you’re a walking God Mode.

 

Batman is himself

 

That title might sound odd when you’re talking about a man with a secret identity dressed up as a giant latex rodent but Batman has never been exposed to anti vengeance.

Batman writers don’t have to fight their own main character to write a story.

Superman has been affected by more chemicals and forces than hydrogen.

Magic, hypnosis, an entire anti rainbow of Kryptonite that made him suck and whenever things get too troublesome they just block out the sun.

One of the worst examples was Aliens vs. Superman.

 

Batman is smarter

 

Superman is meant to be super intelligent but his solution to every problem is either charging straight at it with his fists up or throwing things.

That’s why his most famous villain is mastermind Lex Luthor: Someone has to do interesting things to keep the story moving.

Batman is the master detective; with him we’re actually following the trail instead of playing Kryptonian hide and seek.

You know they’re both going to save the day, but with Batman, you still get to wonder how.

With Superman, you just flip a coin as to whether he’ll end the movie by punching or lifting.

 

 

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