The New York Times Magazine
Great ideas to collect electricity
Global warming and environmental catastrophes are growing as a threat so we decided to offer a variety of great ideas on how to create energy from every day simple life events.
It’s been a while I retired from dancing clubs but on special occasions like birthdays or celebrations I have to visit those places.
Observation is one of my many gifts and by performing it surrounded by sweaty, grinding, drunk people I start wondering how they could help me to run my dishwasher.
And I find an answer.
All we need to do is install little devices called footelectric to harvest that foot stomping into real electricity.
Of course once we standardize the footelectric process, our devices will be also installed in shopping malls and airports where people seem to be always on a rush.
Footelectrics will also light up when you step on them reminding you about your immediate contribution to society.
Combining this technology with Ecstasy legalization we could solve the energy crisis overnight.
We don’t have that hippie tree hugging interpretation of energy creation so the next idea may sound a little heartless but is not, it’s just practical.
Killing pets for power.
Of course we love our pets but there is always an exception.
There is always a barking puppy or a little bunny that eats our flowers so why not killing them for the sake of energy savings?
This will also solve the problem of disposing our pet’s bodies.
Nobody likes to organize a funeral for a cat so this is kind of a ‘two birds with one stone’ situation.
Solar power is fine but animal fat is cheaper and pollutes less.
Think it this way: animal bodies will eventually turn into petroleum so I’m suggesting only speeding up the process a little.
They teach us at school to look into renewable resources well, what’s more renewable than pets?
Poop is made up of methane and methane can be converted into power so why not use poop as a source of energy?
We can create a process to harness the power of the turd by having the methane gas separated from the solids and liquids and converting that gas into heat or electricity.
We will be also saving a lot of money in water since toilet flushing would be absolutely unnecessary.
And not only humans, we can also use animals poop.
A 600 cow’s farm produces 50.000 gallons of poop per day, the equivalent to light up a city with one million people during 1 hour.
To put that into perspective, the same farm create enough feces to power 300 homes each year.
Have you ever been at the beach at night and watched that fluorescent stuff that makes jellyfish glow in the dark?
Well I don’t even know the name of those things but if you put that fluorescent protein on some electrodes it creates an electric current.
Maybe they will not provide as much energy as Chernobyl but they are way safer.
And not only our poop we are wasting, also pee.
Every morning we wake up and release two of precious renewable fuel into the sewage system.
It would be so much better if we could pee into a generator and power our homes for the rest of the day.
I’m still working on this into making a reality.
I will create a device that could power a home and even an entire village.
My idea is to test the device at a rock concert powering the event on attendant’s urine.
the world must know the truth!