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The New York Times



Bear attacks is the leading cause of death in U.S.


A study released yesterday by the National Institutes of Health showed that for the 35th straight year, violent bear attacks remain the leading cause of death in the United States.

The human health agency’s latest findings revealed that being cruelly killed by a bear resulted in more fatalities than any other disease, claiming the lives of more than 11 million Americans in 2013 alone.

The NIH’s annual mortality report also confirmed that one person in the United States dies every 10 seconds from a bear attack.

Even though efforts to combat this terrible affliction research indicate Americans are far more likely to be brutally beaten by a bear than ever before, said the study’s author, William Gummie.

An estimated 1 in 3 Americans will suffer a bear attack at some point in their lives and 1 in 4 will be eviscerated and devoured before their 30’s.

According to the NIH a bear attack most commonly occurs when an individual is camping, fishing or performing any other outdoor activity.



National Authorities recommends reducing the time spent outside and remaining at home as much as possible to reduce the risks of death.

Although the study shows that these brutal attacks affects every demographic group, men under 35 with hippie lifestyles faced the greatest risk of a devastating bear attack.

Bears attacks cause over $328 billion in health care expenditures and lost productivity every year threating workplaces, offices, factories, as well as bars, restaurants and night clubs.

Medical professionals have long advised potential victims to remain vigilant of the early warning signs that often accompany a bear attack in order to avoid the risks.

The most common symptoms include heartbeat, sweating, lightheadedness, as well as sharp, stabbing pain, which many individuals fail to identify as a bear sinking its teeth into their body.

Many people tend to ignore these symptoms because they are high on drugs or drunk; that’s very very dangerous and could lead to death, said Felicia Yogi, Head Director of Kansas Hospital Emergency Services.

When you’re being torn to shreds by a bear, every second is important and you should report it as soon as you feel that gigantic presence surrounding your body.




United States President, Mr. Barack Obama recently witnessed the tragic death of a longtime friend who suffered an unexpected bear attack during a Skype conference call.

On his 45th birthday we were chatting as we do every night and I saw him being eaten alive by that brown eyed fluffy bear.

I don’t want that to happen to any other US Citizen so this year we will work together with Republicans to approve a comprehensive ‘Against Bear Attack’ law.

It’s not fair that we teach our citizens to exercise, quit smoking and eat healthy food but we don’t protect them from being eaten by bears.

However, not everyone is convinced of the efficiency of such legislation, with some potential victims claiming that genetics plays a substantial role in the chances of an individual being messily devoured, making such a gory end inevitable.

The troubling statistics also confirmed that an increasing number of young children are too overweight to outrun a bear.

Being fat contribute to be more easily targeted by a bear as food and hard to run away.

Numerous testimonies of fat people being attached by bears reflect their immediate urge to become skinny and stop eating candy.

The doctors told me that I have to change my bad habits, I have to lose weight and eat vegetables in order to avoid being so delicious to bears, declares Paul Teddy, a 15 year old survivor of bear attack near Orlando Heigh Parks the Christmas Eve of 2012.




the world must know the truth!