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Hollywood Reporter


Superheroes childhood secrets


Every hero’s origin story is false.

Batman was not a rich kid who watched his parents die, The Hulk was not Dr. Bruce Banner and Wolverine… well… Wolverine was not always angry.

I’ve studied and researched every superhero origin and discovered the explanation for their adult behavior.


Spiderman was molested


What they told us is that Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider as a kid and gained superpowers.

After his Uncle Ben is murdered by a criminal, Pete starts using his abilities to punch other muggers for the benefit of society.

That’s all false.

The true story behind Spiderman is that when Peter Parker was a teenager, a guy touched his penis.

It all started when the kid in Spiderman’s story became friends with a creepy older boy named Bally.

Peter confessed to Bally what happened to the relatives he lived with, and was immediately molested by him.





The way Spiderman found to deal with this trauma as an adult, was dressing a crazy costume and punching people around.

Every time Spiderman is punching Doctor Octopus, he is actually thinking about his friend Bally.


Superman has mommy issues


They told us that Superman is the last survivor of planet Krypton and given special abilities by the Earth’s atmosphere.

Then he adopts the secret identity of a reporter and stops local maniac Lex Luthor from destroying the world.

Again, that’s not true.

The truth is that every decision in Superman’s life and career can be traced back to the same thing, and that thing is the fact that he was in love with his mom.

Of course at Krypton love practices are different.

Krypton is a polygamous planet and is normal there for people to date their own parents.

The closer Superman gets to date his own mother was falling in love with Luisa Lane, who is much older than him.


Lex Luthor is not bad, is just mad for not having hair


Why an extremely rich guy, with genius level intellect, exceptional memory, science proficiency and a successful career would be evil?

Lex Luthor is evil because he’s pissed about being bald.

As kids, Lex, Superman and Batman were friends.

The young Lex, with the head full of hair, used his super genius abilities for good.

One day he was working on a cure for Superman’s weakness to Kryptonite and his lab burned in fire.

Superman accidentally makes Lex bald in the process of saving his life.

That breaks Lex and makes him the cruelest, most complex super villain in the universe.





the world must know the truth!