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The New York Times   

 

Benefits of being fat

 

School bullying is big news these days and the most teased and bullied segments of the school population are slutty girls and fat kids.

We have good news for all the chubby kids of the world.

No matter how fleshy you may be, it doesn’t mean your life is always going to be horrible.

In fact, being fat could have some benefits.

 

Nobody notices if you gain weight

 

How many times have you friended an old classmate on Facebook and upon seeing what they look like now, found yourself wondering exactly what happened.

That cute girl you always wanted to bang now looks like Shrek.

Everybody enjoy checking pictures to see how popular friends have fallen into overweight.

But you know who doesn’t have that problem? Yes, you!

Since you’ve always been fat nobody is surprised when they see you again, years later.

 

You are not expected to be athletic

 

If you are overweight you are not expected to be athletic and to be honest, people don’t expect much of anything from you because you’re lazy.

 

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You save a lot of stress when nobody has expectations on you and when you are fat you had no expectations of any sort placed on you.

You can of course play sports as a fat person, specifically baseball.

 

It took attention away from other issues

 

Even if you have plenty of other problems going on in your life nobody will notice them.

You can be poor, have allergies, use ugly clothes or wear glasses and nobody will ever care because since you’re fat, that is what everyone will ever tease you about.

 

Being fat forced you to learn on how to approach people

 

Fat people also want to have friends.

Clearly nobody wants to be friend with someone overweighed so this people have to develop conversational skills.

They have an important motivation to learn how to talk.

That’s why fat people read a lot of books.

 

 

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 In Touch Weekly  

Women can’t be funny

We probably listen two hundred times when a female describes the guy she’s dating saying that he’s so funny.

However when a male friend describes the lady he’s dating he would talk about her body, her personality, her kindness but we never hear a man adding ‘Oh and by the way, she’s so funny’.

And the reason why is very simple; because women are not funny.

There is never true humor in women, if ever anything does appear comical or ridiculous in a woman it is more like stupidity.

Women are raised not to be funny.

From young ages boys are allowed to be loud and tell jokes and be annoying while girls are encouraged to act like ladies.

And ladies sit quietly and decidedly do not draw attention to them.

Women are also prettier than men so why would they bother developing any other personality aspects since they already have everything they need to get ahead in life.

This is not to say that women are humorless or cannot enjoy joking.

Humor, after all, is a symptom of intelligence and women laugh at almost anything, often precisely because they are extremely astute.

The fact that so many men choose being funny over being with someone who’s funny is part of a wider point on jokes and gender roles.

In a way, humor gives power and since power is something we associate with men, humor is therefore seen as more of a masculine than a feminine quality.

Culturally for a woman to say a man is funny is the equivalent of a man saying that a woman is pretty.

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A recent study from the University of San Francisco found that only 20 percent of jokes made by female bosses caused laughter while a full 96 percent of jokes by male bosses did.

And if you’ve ever heard a male boss tell a joke you know this isn’t down to the fact that they are entertaining.

The whole idea of male humor depends on the notion that women are never really the boss but mere objects.

The physical structure of the human being is a joke in itself.

And life is always funny and maybe is not by coincidence that men and women tend to refer to life itself as a bitch.

Humor, if we are to be serious about it, arises from the ineluctable fact that we are all born into a losing struggle called life.

And the latest tragedy in life is that for men, the two things they prize the most, women and humor, can’t come together.  

 

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