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 The New York Times Magazine 

 

Great ideas to collect electricity

 

Global warming and environmental catastrophes are growing as a threat so we decided to offer a variety of great ideas on how to create energy from every day simple life events.

 

Dancing

It’s been a while I retired from dancing clubs but on special occasions like birthdays or celebrations I have to visit those places.

Observation is one of my many gifts and by performing it surrounded by sweaty, grinding, drunk people I start wondering how they could help me to run my dishwasher.

And I find an answer.

All we need to do is install little devices called footelectric to harvest that foot stomping into real electricity.

Of course once we standardize the footelectric process, our devices will be also installed in shopping malls and airports where people seem to be always on a rush.

Footelectrics will also light up when you step on them reminding you about your immediate contribution to society.

Combining this technology with Ecstasy legalization we could solve the energy crisis overnight.

 

Pets

 

We don’t have that hippie tree hugging interpretation of energy creation so the next idea may sound a little heartless but is not, it’s just practical.

Killing pets for power.

Of course we love our pets but there is always an exception.

There is always a barking puppy or a little bunny that eats our flowers so why not killing them for the sake of energy savings?

This will also solve the problem of disposing our pet’s bodies.

 

WELoveCutePets_27

 

 

Nobody likes to organize a funeral for a cat so this is kind of a ‘two birds with one stone’ situation.

Solar power is fine but animal fat is cheaper and pollutes less.

Think it this way: animal bodies will eventually turn into petroleum so I’m suggesting only speeding up the process a little.

They teach us at school to look into renewable resources well, what’s more renewable than pets?

 

Poop

 

Poop is made up of methane and methane can be converted into power so why not use poop as a source of energy?

We can create a process to harness the power of the turd by having the methane gas separated from the solids and liquids and converting that gas into heat or electricity.

We will be also saving a lot of money in water since toilet flushing would be absolutely unnecessary.

And not only humans, we can also use animals poop.

A 600 cow’s farm produces 50.000 gallons of poop per day, the equivalent to light up a city with one million people during 1 hour.

To put that into perspective, the same farm create enough feces to power 300 homes each year.

 

Jellyfish

 

Have you ever been at the beach at night and watched that fluorescent stuff that makes jellyfish glow in the dark?

Well I don’t even know the name of those things but if you put that fluorescent protein on some electrodes it creates an electric current.

Maybe they will not provide as much energy as Chernobyl but they are way safer.

 

Pee

 

And not only our poop we are wasting, also pee.

Every morning we wake up and release two of precious renewable fuel into the sewage system.

It would be so much better if we could pee into a generator and power our homes for the rest of the day.

I’m still working on this into making a reality.

I will create a device that could power a home and even an entire village.

My idea is to test the device at a rock concert powering the event on attendant’s urine.

 

 

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The New York Times 

 

Tell me your language and I’ll tell you how smart you are

The language you speak affects how you think because the language entirely determines the range of possible cognitive processes of an individual.

When we learn our mother tongue we acquire certain habits of thought that shape our experience in significant and often surprising ways.

If you speak only German you might be a little pragmatic; if you speak only French you might be just a touch more emotional.

But you will be surprised to know that if you speak more than two languages fluently you are smarter than people who don’t.

The brain is simply wired differently depending on whether you think thoughts in one or multiple languages.

Our mother tongue constrains our minds and prevents us from being able to think certain thoughts.

Depending on the native language people tend to discriminates against poor, black or gay people.

Italian speakers for example discriminate black people and German speakers discriminate gays.

People who think in different languages make better decisions.

Thoughts are notions, ideas, not mere words so when you process them into a second language, it forces you to rely on analytical cognition rather than emotional deliberation.

That’s because every language has a unique set of intonations, called the prosody.

The prosody is so ingrained in you that it can actually make other languages more difficult to understand.

 

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Take sarcasm, for example, you probably know how to detect it in the languages you speak but not in others because sarcasm sounds completely different in each language.

The languages you speak play also an important role in shaping how you see the world.

Languages with an inflectional morphological type such as German are the most perfect languages and that explained the dominance of their speakers over the speakers of less perfect languages like Hebrew.

The idea that some languages are naturally superior to others and that the use of primitive languages maintained their speakers in intellectual poverty was wide proven by science.

Did you fail the test in German? Don’t worry, you are racist anyway.

 

 

 

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