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Life is a scam

 

When you’re a kid you imagine how life would be as an adult.

As an adult you can start making money, you can vote, you can drink…

It seems that being an adult is awesome and it truly is but there’s load of stuff that no one prepared you for.

 

Authority

 

When you are young adults impose figures of authority.

On day, when you grow up, you find yourself eating healthy, controlling your emotions and being extremely nice to everyone for no reason.

You discover yourself being a good person just because you’re conditioned from childhood to be that way.

You respect people; you listen to others, and you help strangers in the street for no reason.

As adults we got stuck in patterns, patterns of Thank you, Please, I’m fine, You go first, As you prefer, If you like it that way is fine to me…

We constantly seek approval.

 

Time

 

When I was a kid the Beatles were always playing as background music in my house.

No matter what we were doing, there were the Beatles there also.

A fact of growing up is that you lose time.

 

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You work, you visit people, you exercise, you pay bills, you go shopping, you organize your clothes, and sometimes you forget to spend you precious seconds of life listening to cool music.

The music that makes you think of fun and awesome times, the music that you used to listen with your parents and friends when all the time was about being fun and awesome.

 

Food

 

As a kid you take food for granted without never imagine the horror of grocery shopping or if you forget it, the horror of calling the delivery every single night.

From the outside, having dinner could appear as incredibly easy but is not.

Every night you arrive home wishing not to be hungry simply to avoid dealing with the food dilemma.

You buy food and eat it, yes sounds easy but when you’re the one doing it, it’s so much worse.

Should I prepare something? Should I go to my neighbor place and eat their food? Should I call the delivery?

A meal is not worth so many questions.

And that’s one of the main reasons adults are fit.

We don’t like to think, we skip meals.

Life is all about increasingly skip meals until one day we are so weak that we end up dying.

 

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Life has no meaning

 

You may listen some people tell that school is important or college is important or your job is important.

They lie.

Nothing that has you as a main character is important for the simple reason that you are not important at all.

And that’s perfectly fine, we are not here to be important.

Of course we are not here to be happy either.

The only skill you need to learn in school and college is how to socialize and be a functioning human in society.

 

meaning-of-life

And that’s exactly what being a human means.

Life is not about being beautiful, or happy, or rich, or famous, life is about being functional.

It is very important to learn how to be a human, how to meet the right people, and how to maintain your social network.

There is an enormous connection between how smart you are and how useful you are.

And despite your own perception is very likely that you are an idiot.

You probably know a lot about a lot of things and you have been gathering information for years but that is not even related to how stupid you are.

Stupid people also receive information, read books, watch movies and browse the internet.

Life is all about looking back on your past self and realizing how stupid you were.

‘Oh, I don’t understand why I was in love with that mean woman!’ or ‘How can I be working 5 years for this asshole manager!’

And you’ll keep convincing yourself that even though you were stupid in the past, now you’ve got it figured out.

Wrong,

You will be a little less retarded the day you reach the understanding that you were idiot in the past and you are an idiot today.

And then you’ll smartly say ‘Well I was an idiot two years ago and two years before that and I’m an idiot right now too’.

The infiniteness of your stupidity is the most valuable lesson you may ever learn in your entire life.

So many people will watch movies or read books and think ‘Yes, I understand the meaning of this movie’ or ‘I know what the writer was trying to say in the book’.

No, you don’t.

Those people took the time to actually create a movie and write a book while you are here reading this article and being an idiot.

I’m an idiot too, I have nothing about life figured out and I’m probably the dumbest person in the planet but I have an advantage against you.

I admit it.

 

 

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Tips to live longer

 

Thanks to Oprah and other nice people on TV we’re all very aware of what it takes to live a healthy life.

We need to take vitamins, make exercise and drink water.

What I’m writing about is not random advices, is science.

There are several habits that will help us live longer.

 

Being poor

 

It doesn’t seem possible that being poor would make you live longer.

After all, while life is more important than money, you need money to buy the things that keep you alive.

 

Alcohol_Saudi

 

In turbulent economic times, you would expect the life expectancy of the population to lower as unemployment increases and nobody can afford to pay for doctors and vitamins.

Also, instead of eating expensive fresh fruit and vegetables, we subsist on the warm bowl of ramen noodles.

But statistics shows that economic hardship increases life expectancy.

According to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the death rate in the U.S. declined and life expectancy rose during the whole financial collapse from 2007 to 2010.

The reason is that poor people can’t afford to go out so they don’t use cars as much as we do so they have fewer traffic fatalities.

For poor people, fun activities like drugs, cigarettes and liquor are luxuries so they rarely do them.

Plus, staying home means forming stronger bonds with family, which is universally known to be good for your health.

At the end of the day they have better habits than rich people.

They don’t have jobs which is good for stress levels so fewer poor people suffer heart attacks.

 

Being quiet

 

You know the person who never shows up in a bad mood and always remembers your birthday with cupcakes and hugs.

According to another study from Massachusetts Institute of Technology, people who approach life with an overly optimistic, cheerful attitude, die young.

The study found that optimistic extroverted people are way less cautious than grumps.

Happy people take more risks and are less aware of consequences.

They’re the ones who dance in the rain and get struck by lightning.

Do you hear that, free spirits?

You’re going to die young.

 

Alcohol

This is another one that seems impossible.

We all know of at least one famous person who drank himself to death.

If that would make you think that drinking alcohol is bad for your health you are wrong.

People who totally abstain from alcohol have a higher mortality rate than those who enjoy it.

A study from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology reveals that people who had one to three drinks a day are two times more likely to live longer than those who drink water or soda.

You wonder why?

The MIT also explains that the results are because nondrinkers have fewer social ties and less family support than the funny drinkers.

People who don’t drink tend to be more boring and have fewer friends which are factors that affect longevity.

And that my friends, is why I’m going to live forever.

 

 

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Science Reporter

 

Time doesn’t exist

 

There are some things we know are endless in life like the sun will always rise, everything has a solution and time inevitably walks forward.

Except that the sun doesn’t actually rise, solutions are disappearing and time… well… time doesn’t exist.

 

We don’t live in the present

 

What you think of as the present is actually the past.

Life isn’t a live feed, it’s a broadcast that your brain is constantly editing and censoring for your convenience.

The delay is 80 milliseconds between you and your brain.

If you want to prove it touch your nose and your toe at the same time.

Of course you should feel your nose first because it’s right there in your face and the sensory signal doesn’t have to travel too long before reaching the brain.

Yet you feel both things at the same time and that’s because your brain synchronizes the sensory information that it gets from your body in a way that will make sense to you.

To do that it needs to push your consciousness slightly into the past like a radio station that’s always on a five second delay in case somebody makes a mistake on air.

 

Time dilation

 

Time runs faster in higher places, people who live in higher places age slightly faster than people at the ground level.

Time dilation happens because gravity warps time as well as space.

The closer you are to the ground the more you are affected by the Earth’s gravity and the slower time moves.

On the other hand, as you get higher gravity’s pull weakens and time speeds up.

 

The faster you go the slower time moves

 

If you’re going the speed of light, time pretty much stops.

But you don’t need a spaceship to slow down time, using a precise atomic clock, scientists have proven that the same thing happens to you every day on a smaller scale.

Making one of the clocks move at only 36 kilometers per hour caused it to slow down its tick by almost 6 x 10.

In numbers you can understand: that’s not a lot but is something.

For example if you are driving at 50 mph time is moving 0.00000000002% slower than it would if you were standing still.

You don’t feel time slowing down or speeding up, only someone outside your conditions can tell the difference.

 

Time doesn’t go at the same speed for everyone

 

Different people can witness the same events happening at different speeds.

Events that appear simultaneous to a person in motion may not look simultaneous to someone who is standing still because brain time is relative.

Time is constantly in flux for everyone.

 

Time will die

 

Time waits for no man so we know time will still be going on after we die.

But not too long.

Time isn’t infinite.

In four out of five possible calculated scenarios, time is most likely to end in about 3 to 7 billion years.

In the fifth scenario, time could end before you finish this article.

So please, wear nice clothes every day, you don’t want to take the risk of being immortalized wearing crocs, do you?

 

 

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