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 Chicago Tribune  


In-flight safety instructions airlines need to include


Even though people keep saying that statistically speaking is much safer flying than driving, it doesn’t really helps to relax while you’re in the air completely unable to control what’s happening.

What also doesn’t help is that little mimic the flight attendants do before taking off.

The first thing they do when you sit on a plane is explain you what to do in case of an emergency ignoring that the last thing I expect to be talking about when flying is plane crashes.

The mimic the cute lady does is now being replaced by short videos that are even more terrifying.

They actually feature actors showing you how a real plane crash would be.

I know is pointless ask them to remove the safety presentation but I would like to recommend some subjects they should mention to be at least more useful.


Electronic devices


If airlines want us to stop bitching about this apparently pointless rule, all they need to do is tell us why it’s a rule in the first place.

It would be as simple as changing the ‘You need to turn off all electronic devices’ on the safety video to ‘You need to turn off all electronic devices or the plane will fall from the sky and turn into a fireball’




They can maybe add a shot of an actual plane crashing.

If that doesn’t get us to stop playing Candy Crush on board, nothing will.


Reclining the seat


This one doesn’t apply to first class.

In fact, nothing ever applies to people in first class.

If you travel coach like me you need to understand the following, just because your seat is capable of reclining doesn’t mean you have to put your complete body in my lap.

Space between seats is small enough for you to lay back so sit upright or I will hate you for the rest of the flight and I probably will remember your stinky hair during my entire vacation.

Also, what benefit you see on placing your seat on reclining position if it changes the angle in about 3 inches anyway?

You are not reclining for comfort, there is not comfort in flying coach, you are reclining because you are selfish.

I suggest here airlines should start mentioning the ‘avoid reclining’ advice in their flight safety instructions.


Toilet doors


The suction power of plane’s toilets flush is something I will not discuss here because it deserves a complete article.

Besides the amount of trouble you experience inside a plane bathroom, when you are finally done, you open the door and realize that another person is waiting to enter.

The two of you must now figure out how to pass each other without one of you literally sitting on another’s lap because plane’s aisles are not designed for mobility.

If they are bringing the drinks cart down the aisle you’d have an easier time getting straight to the center of the sun and back, than getting to your seat.

Those aisles are calculated to be walked by a maximum number of people of one, preferable with a severe eating disorder.

This space situation is intensified when two people are trying to enter-exit the restroom.

If you are using the bath on the back of the plane you only have one option, the person exiting has to step back and stand in that forbidden zone where all of the flight attendants hang out while the entering person walks into the toilet.

Of course I have no idea how to do this exit-enter thing when using the bath in the wing area so we urgently need airlines to include the bathroom door instructions in their flight safety presentation.




the world must know the truth!