The New Yorker
Office war starters
I’m a writer so I don’t need to wake up every morning and drag myself to an office like some of you.
My working days are spent laid on my couch listening to music and writing articles.
But I have lovely memories of my days at an office; I clearly remember all of the little actions that I wouldn’t believe can escalate into almost a war.
Almost every office has a coffee vendor machine and we have two teams; the ones who like their coffee strong and the crowd that prefers a more civilized brew that tastes less robust and doesn’t mimic the effects of methamphetamine in your body and mind.
One thing both groups agree is that the other crowd is completely wrong.
This seems like a trivial matter but keep in mind that caffeine is a drug.
Toying with the influx of caffeine into a person’s bloodstream is inevitably going to end in the closest approximation of a Breaking Bad episode you’ll ever get.
Bring and share
When it comes time to celebrate some businesses opt to do so in a way that requires everybody to bring some food to share.
One of the more common solutions is to hold a potluck, where all the weirdos you never even say hello bring a homemade casserole and expect you to eat it.
Office potluck fragment people into three groups: the people who care and bring something, the people who forget they’re supposed to bring something and grab at snack at the store and the people who bring nothing and eat anyway.
Those bastards are away from the game, nobody likes them anyway.
The real tension rises between the people who bring something without putting thought into it and the people who act as if a potluck is the opportunity to be shown by others as President of cooking nation and put more effort cooking that they do at their job.
The office thermostat might be compared to that comically large red button that sets off a nuclear war in movies.
Take a quick trip to the thermostats in your office and you’ll notice that almost everyone has a yellow post-it or a gigantic note with the delicate message DO NOT TOUCH!!!!!
What I noticed that usually happens is that the room that holds the thermostat features a radically different climate from the rest of the building.
The thermostat might claim that the temperature in the building is 72 degrees but for some reason in that particular room it’s warm as rainforest.
What we do then is leaving that space without anyone’s desk hoping for the best.
Of course that’s never the case and we immediately start using it for meetings so a variety of people are continuously going in and out from that little room.
Those people don’t want to conduct their meetings in the Amazonia so they turn the thermostat a little down.
They then carry on the meeting in a comfortable environment while everyone else enters in the next ice age.
the world must know the truth!
War is always the answer
‘Therefore you shall be perfect just as your Father in heaven is perfect’ sounds as a difficult challenge but is not, we all should aspire to perfection and until we are all perfect, as long as there is imperfection in the world, war will always be the answer.
War is something natural, is human instinct to fight for our ideals and is also the greatest activity by which human progress is produced.
It stimulates national growth, solves any kind of problems and purge nations from useless people.
In the economy of nature, war is sent to form a national character and for the embellishment of their people.
It’s only through tribulation and suffering that we reach success and true wisdom.
Nations, to achieve greatness should promote, participate and win wars.
Without war, there would be no technology, no internet, no modern age.
War is always the carrier of progress in civilizations.
If considered without war we didn’t have medicine, vaccinations and more people could have been dead from undiscovered illnesses than in any given war.
Wars are vital to modern economies; industrial economies are intimately connected with the production of military technology and military capacity and the elimination of war would prove economically devastating as large sectors of society, both in technology and manufacturing would be wiped out.
Reducing the number of people sharing them, war raises the wealth, comfort and material goods available for those remaining.
War also gives poor people jobs.
For the ones that have only their lives to offer due to lack of talent, initiative or intellect, war is a great opportunity to become valuable.
As adversity and opposition temper the spirit of man, the same happens with nations.
War awakens the latent energies of a state and stimulates it to the highest.
The United States of America is the greatest nation on earth and world stability depends exclusively on our military’s monopoly on global force.
Multilateralism is a nice idea but is only that, an idea.
There’s no other country prepared to limit the ambitions of bad people and keep them successfully boxed in.
We need to take responsibility and keep organizing wars in order to solve international problems, transforming remote regions and winning good reputation.
With the United States as the dominant power of the western world lies also the obligation of spread the gospel and passing on the less favored nations our educated way of government.
We need to keep demonstrating who is really in charge and everyone who deny US supremacy should be accused, convicted, sentenced and executed
The rotten and degraded state of patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth a war, is what ruined us as humans.
A man who has nothing which he is willing to fight for, nothing which he cares more about than he does about his personal safety, is a miserable creature that doesn’t deserve to live.
As long as justice and injustice have not terminated their fight, human beings must be ready and prepared to battle against each other.
War is in the basement of living creature’s essence.
If war is wrong then existence is wrong, and if existence is wrong, then war is easing the problem one man at a time.
the world must know the truth!